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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hiddendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dana
    ASL Info:    23/F/Dreamland
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 79/87/26
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 933
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567



    Description:
       So simple...and true story....based on memories from this summer...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHiddendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hide your eyes
    In the dark cemetery
    Dont let the light
    Pierce your soul

    Everything is closed
    And you have no key
    Your world is hidden
    As well as mine

    Nothing can change it
    Neither you nor I

    The show is over

    It's time to leave
    It's time to say goodbye

    I cross my heart
    For a hope
    To meet again
    For some time

    Just to see your eyes
    Hidden in the darkness
    of your mysterious soul




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 14:00:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have a lovely way of expressing your feelings in this poem. It has a touch of intrigue and finality. This is a bittersweet end.

    Well done!
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm summer love they seem to fade away with the sunny skies and leave you with nothing but memories of fun days at the beach, ahh where would we be without them. I really like this line "The show is over." so blunt, so final, sort of you know lets break it off now before feelings become attached. I liked it good job.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful in it's own way. Because you didn't specify on many details, I just imagined it's about getting stuck in a shopping mall after closing ( "Everythings closed, and you have no key") with your beloved. I wish something like that would happen to me! Heck, I'd settle for getting locked in a mall with my sister. but I'm straying from the subject. Dark, sad, and strangely painful ( in a good way) poem.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]
      it's interesting. on first read i thought it was about a romantic encounter, but i re-read it and i think it's about losing someone who you love. whether that love was romantic or friendship or family, i like the way you've been subtle with the emotions here. well done.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      Very interesting, I love thought-provoking poems that really make one think.

    My guess is that it's a summer love affair that must end as you both go back to your normal lives?
    The "mysterious" reference, however, keeps me wondering, so very well done indeed!

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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