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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loveís Soft Breathingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: _winky_
    ASL Info:    25/f/minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 664/529/96
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1064
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574



    Description:
       this is actually a "first" part to alone and trapped. it's about the lover in this case and how she is falling in love with him making the decision to be with him and leave her husband....you'll have to read the other one (alone and trapped) to find out what happened if you wanna know.


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    dotsLoveís Soft Breathingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Within your eyes I see your heaven
    Those blue-grey hues don't fool me
    One by one I'll remove those bricks
    And your true heart I'll finally see

    I'll hold your hand during each storm
    Help keep a smile upon your face
    But Iíll catch your tears if they fall
    Whatever it is, I'll happily embrace

    Sometime when I'm watching you sleep
    My heart skips a beat or two
    I fall asleep to love's soft breathing
    Nothing's better than waking up to you




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 14:20:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      awww that was so cute and heart warming. Very simple and down to the point, yet not repetivitive like many poems recently. nice job keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the innocence and simplicity of this...while reading one can not help but to give a deep sigh and think...yea...I want a love like that.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah this was truly sweet. I wish I could fall in love like this. Sweet can't live without you, take away my breathe kind of love, the stuff of dreams. But alas it seems this is where most love like this reside, only in our dreams, at least mine. Good write, pleasantly refreshing.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      i only wish. i wish every love was this way, but of course they arent. all well. this was a great write. it took me to a great place, somewhere i wanna be. the imagery was nice in the middle stanza. i have to agree, though...that "cuz" kind of lowers it all. otherwise i was pleased.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
      MMMmmm. I like it, I'll have to go and read the rest, now.

    An intiguing story, I never would have picked them as clandestine except from your description.

    My only suggestion is to drop the "Cuz" in the last line. It's not necessary, and lowers the tone of the language you used in the rest of the piece.

    Otherwise, a great job, well done!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sah-weeet. The emotions in this were great and the flow and rhyme made it fun to read and added to the feeling. Love...what a neat concept. Well done.

    Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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