Description: This poem is actually dedicated to Librado Lopez... My friend ... actually more like a brother and how aids was killing him... RIP man
Virus -------------------------------------------
Staring around my world
and seeing it goes so fast
Starting another war
this time feeling I wont last
Thrown away all my beliefs
killed all my hopes and dreams
destroying me like a decease
that keeps going and don’t cease
But its going slowly
and Its just killing me
Alone dying lonely
taking me so strongly
killing me surely
but softly
I think you should continue writing, but i didn't prefer this peace personally. Remember to always write for yourself first, i feel it better helps others to get what you are trying to say.
well it was okay...i ;like why you wote it and whatmade you write it, but the poem itself was choppy with no flow whatsoever. i felt like the rhyming was forced throughout...
"taking me so strongly killing me surely but softly"
these were my favourite lines...i doinno why i think because it was justso well put together...well keep trying :) *Samy*
Submission Name: Virus
