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    dots Submission Name: Virusdots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 437

       This poem is actually dedicated to Librado Lopez... My friend ... actually more like a brother and how aids was killing him... RIP man

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Staring around my world
    and seeing it goes so fast
    Starting another war
    this time feeling I wont last
    Thrown away all my beliefs
    killed all my hopes and dreams
    destroying me like a decease
    that keeps going and donít cease
    But its going slowly
    and Its just killing me
    Alone dying lonely
    taking me so strongly
    killing me surely
    but softly

    Submitted on 2005-09-06 18:26:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think you should continue writing, but i didn't prefer this peace personally. Remember to always write for yourself first, i feel it better helps others to get what you are trying to say.
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      well it was okay...i ;like why you wote it and whatmade you write it, but the poem itself was choppy with no flow whatsoever. i felt like the rhyming was forced throughout...

    "taking me so strongly
    killing me surely
    but softly"

    these were my favourite lines...i doinno why i think because it was justso well put together...well keep trying :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by samyalone | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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