Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Letter From Another Countrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       Imagine a land civilization hasn't touched, full of purity, awaiting the same minute explorations a young lover might expect.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLetter From Another Countrydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Skimming the smooth
    belly of an ocean
    while the tumbling
    breakers crept,
    luminous as
    monastery windows
    from the salty
    tropic depths;
    an island hushed
    as regret or promise,
    ascends the mist
    of distant shores
    melting, etching
    an unhurried
    current as the
    young Columbus
    shrugs nightmares in
    the swiriling surf,
    slender as a
    trembling hope
    restored




    Submitted on 2005-09-06 21:02:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was really good

    What I saw in this poem was a man who at times doubted the meaning of his existence and when he looked deeply at nature he saw exactly why he was here
    Beautifully written

    Looking forward to more of your writes
    Take Care
    Ron

    And thanks for your recent comments
    Its comments like yours that keep me writing
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Eventhough I found the ebb and floww of the lines a bit hard to follow, I loved several of the turns of phrase that you used.
    "luminous as monestary windows"-this line underscores the purity that you're illustrating as well as reflecting the glassy reflection of the ocean.
    The reference to columbus also works well with unchartered lands...
    the rythmic motion and description are obviously enough that it gets transfered fro tera firma to firm Tara..lol
    jan xo
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, this is so very sensuous. The purity of the untouched...

    luminous
    as monastery windows
    from the salty
    tropic depths...

    Those were my favorite lines. This is, as your previous commentor so eloquently put it, "Bloody excellent!"

    +Jo
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by whisperslove | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, all I get from this is pure erotic undertones!

    This drips sex, and is a fabulous metaphor to a young girl's purity.

    Bloody excellent!

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    73400

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Love written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry