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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Didn't Knowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AmandaLyn
    ASL Info:    18/F/ Centralia
    Elite Ratio:    3.59 - 292/292/42
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 187
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 555



    Description:
       I think this is self explanatory... I wrote this the day before I left for college.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDidn't Knowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You said it was too much
    We’d be too far away
    Thought you’d be fine without my touch
    But now you wanna stay

    I said I love you so much
    I’ll miss you everyday
    Every night I dream of your touch
    And I’m so glad you wanna stay.

    I didn’t know
    You didn’t tell me
    You didn’t want me to go
    You just needed to see
    How it felt to miss me
    I didn’t know
    You fell in love too.
    It’s what didn’t show
    That didn’t leave a clue.





    Submitted on 2005-09-06 23:49:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your poem speaks about so many people in the way the thier fears and the way they communicate with each other. I would like to re-write the poem using less I's in it. It takes away from great message.
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      sorry I have to ay
    I am leaving now today
    will be my last time forawhile
    I will ever see your smile

    loved this one also. cute.
    do not worry y'all two will still bethere together. always vacations, and it is just four years, and then summer and easterbreak, phonecalls and letters. soo it wont be that bad.

    peace and good luck in college.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, well the idea behind the poem was very nice, but the poem itself could use some improvement. It seems like you tried to rhyme at the beginning, which seemed force, but at the end you stopped. I don't know, I think with a little touch up this could be a really nice poem. Keep up the good work!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      umm... okay, I guess it was...okay. I dont know it felt like something was.. (not missing but...) not right about it. I dont it just seems kind of boring.
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]
      I am wondering if this and the Did you poem are related in any way, shape, or form? This poem is a nice piece i like it... good expression with few words... and its about a relationship so I love it... it was nice and thanks for the writting... Keep writting and good luck
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]



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