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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Natural Scentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lmz
    ASL Info:    40/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 3433/1529/84
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1447
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 634



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNatural Scentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your skin has
    such a sexy scent,
    unique to you
    So stimulating, desirable
    Powerful enticement
    not found in any bottle,
    exists from within
    Cologne would merely mask
    sheer masculine fragrance
    A potent aphrodisiac
    yet subtle, gentle
    Unlike any smell
    ever known before
    Draws me closer, arousing,
    like sex for the senses
    Enhancing attraction
    inhaling deeply, slowly,
    never getting enough
    Feeding a craving for
    sweetness found
    only on you...
    Your natural scent







    Submitted on 2005-09-07 07:20:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Lorna!

    This poem has all of your remarkable skill as a writer, and is a fascinating and wonderful read! By the way, that natural scent works both ways; one whiff of you lovely ladies pheremones, and us guys are hopeless and helpless; we are putty in your lovely hands!

    I read in a documentary about Napoleon Boneparate that he would write Josephine when he was to return from a campaign and instruct her not to bathe before his arrival!
    | Posted on 2006-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      A really wonderful read, this! Honest and scintillating at the same time. Lucky man, yours!
    | Posted on 2006-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      How intoxicating this read is. What sweet aromatics glisten within the window of the soul. Soft nudges of the nose inhaling intoxication. Really a good write I might add. It's true some smells are certainlly to be desired. Then even longed for. How the mind finds a calming peace. Yet surges for deeper meaning. I could go on and on,lol all in all Great write.


    Sincerly Gannondalf aka Big Bear
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece was unique, and dear, you arouse your reader's sexual instincts! Haha, as all before me have said, I would not mind giving you my phone number (haha).

    You catch a true sensation, and exploit the senses to convey meaning to the reader. And you do it craftfully. Well done!

    The short, quirk lines are very original and help keep a steady pace, as though you wanted more and more... if you get what I mean.

    Well done on an excellent poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by HansRik | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a fundamentally primal aspect to this write. Or in the words of corey from Slipknot..."a feromone cult". Its true...feromones do attract us in undeniably atomic ways...as do the rest of the senses.

    If i were to nitpick and jump in with some flavor of my own i would suggest dropping the Captal letters from the beginning of each line. In the 'formalist' sense of things, Capitals are intended to designate the start of a sentence, which would necessarily include periods to end sentences with.

    I also think that if it were up to me i would drop the "Your natural scent" from the end of it, and simply end with "only on you..."

    You might have a look at it. I'm glad to have gotten over here to read you finally. Sorry it took so long.
    see you around,
    later,
    kc
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      You have a real talent for these sensual pieces that surprised me at first. I guess I didn't expect that someone so talented in writing about nature and beauty would be so talented here too. (Although as I read that sentence I puzzled as to why I was surprised. What is sensuality but nature and beauty? LOL)

    I liked the pace of this piece. Maybe I was just me, but it seemed to start slow and accelerate toward the end. The lines are the same length, but the sentences seem to get longer which I guess causes me to read faster, building the pace.

    Cool stuff,
    Steve

    ps. You need to write a horrible piece so I can offer a way to improve it. I'm not usually this bubbly with feedback.
    | Posted on 2006-02-21 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really sweet poem. I love the rhythm that the poem has. Its as if the person you are describing is a scent and at the same time you make them more than a scent. Thank you for the great read. I think the poem speaks for itself and anything else that I might add would be redundant.
    | Posted on 2006-01-31 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]
      How right you are! My favorite scent is right after he steps out of a shower, his hair has driplets of water still dripping, not quite dried out. Bubbles of water still glistering on his skin. The scent is erotic and entices the devil out of me
    Hum, does that make us hungry she wolves?? heehee
    A good one here, Lorna!
    | Posted on 2005-12-22 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Scent to me is what attracts me to a person. There is something about the unique fragrence of each individual person that is very arrousing!

    I certainly understand your description of fragrences not being able to be bottled. There is a raw animal attraction between lovers that cannot be explained into words... only actions!

    You know when you enter a room and you catch that faint hint of pure power and animal lust... I love that smell of a new man entering your life.

    I must say that every man and woman I have been with has had a unique scent that initionaly attracted me to them... they have this powerof over me just by thier precence and there scent!

    I enjoyed this piece alot because scent is very powerful for me and the main attraction for me ato another man or woman

    Loved it!
    Ella
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      Right after feeding the livestock, I've got a real manly scent!
    It's not found in any bottle either, but the cure-all is.
    An amazing capture of all that spells "I want you", in such fashionable expression.
    I've read all of the comments, and you must be a strong woman to accept "ONE" of ythem with out losing your cool. (BUT, you might have without me knowing) Most everyone enjoys you so much, and your works reveal the reason, they are terriffic.
    Later, take care.
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Scent is a vital ingredient in any relationship - just ask little Sophie and skanky Sam !

    I think that women are more aware of this 'scent' thing than men are. And your write expresses this very clearly for me. Just enough scent contained within it to let the reader sniff a bubbling cauldren. Very well written.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Though still heavily detached from the concrete of the man it addresses him directly and begins to paint a picture of his essence. the questions arises,

    What does he smell like? I would say, soft mahogany passion.

    and are you apposed to deodorant?

    what? Just asking! Anyhow, I like your progression from the real world of his skin to the inner world of its scents effect on you. The bit about cologne is nice. The short line length helps a great deal to create a sense of excitement and a fast pace of reading. The capitals are also effectively placed through out to high light your emphasis and meaning. You actually put in a simile ahhhhh. That may be the first I’ve noticed in your work. You manage well without the devices. The only thing I would want to see included here is a bit about what the smells like, if you are inclined I would suggest, think wine tasting but don’t get fluffy. Otherwise a very nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by Car va g o | [ Reply to This ]
      Really loved this one. I can never get enough of the way that my husband smells. IT was one of the first things I noticed about him. I think that we mask our natural scent to our detriment. Wonderful work. Lynn
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      It ain't bath day until Saturday so are you sure 'bout that?
    All jokes aside this was a pleasent read and I think you did very well composing this poem.
    Thanks for sharing,
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem Lorna
    You were able to express the love you have for a man and touch on sex but to your credit did not get too graphic

    You expressed the heat of the moment perfectly
    Once again Great Job
    Ron

    My God you wouldnt believe all the kids who came to my house for halloween last night
    I stopped counting at 200 and thats no exageration
    It was unbelievable

    The funniest thing was and this is gonna get you one little boy about 2 I gave the candy to and I swear to you he said mister I thank you
    Funny Huh
    It was so funny
    really touched me
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      The pheromones we do produce. Do you know that women on entering an empty cinema will invariably sit in seats recently vacated by men? The limbic system of our brain responds to the odours we all give out. Apparently a non-pregnant woman is most strongly attracted by the smell of men who belong to a different immunotype than her own, as it is obviously most healthy to mate with someone of a different immunotype to boost the hybrid vigour of the potential child. Once pregnant however, she will respond most closely to men with the same immunotype as her own, i relatives who are most likely to help nurture the child. Unfortunately, taking the birth control pill mimics the state of pregancy and causes single women to form relationships with men who are not desirable mates in pure biological terms.
    Your poem is easy to follow which is a great plus and is sensual which is always another plus and furthermore you have an elegant economy of words.
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      You've worked to get in some good combinations of sounds here. I'm not certain that they always work in combination with the message, that is, sometimes softer sounds might feel more "sensual" than hard sounds, but it is a very good job all around.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Now I know you read my journal...or my thought for that matter! This was powerful, because I feel that way about my bf, and I thought I was crazy for feeling like that. This was another poem that was based on real emotions in a realationship. A great poem about something we girls don't mention much about. Great job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very well done. Definitely a topic of interest among the masses...Personally I believe that scent can make or break anything. Attraction is often mistaken as physical...but I feel that with the prettiest/handsomest of people...the making or breaking point comes when their scent is realized. This piece was just amazing at how you did it - sensual and tasteful...
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-29 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      I have read this poem twice and its a very potent poem with real good purpose behind it... it was good for me to read this beacuse its well constructed and I'm actually interested right now in reading so much more its not even funny... You know when people say you have a way with words? They must have been talking about you and this poem right here beacuse it is very descriptive about your feeling towards the smell and then it totally describes it with the right words line after line. Thanks and please keep writting
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      There are studies out there that claim to prove that a man's scent has more to do with a woman's attraction than his actual appearance.
    Tell me you've never been attracted to a man twice your age for his wisdom and attitude.
    His scent also had something to do with it I assure you.
    Some people you meet just have this nasal way about them
    Its no different for a man, although a woman's shell sometimes seems to be the male's number one preoccupation, the scent also plays a huge role for a guy.

    You know how dogs sniff eachother's butts?
    Its very gross I know, but if it were socially acceptable, this gut feeling of mine tells me that humans would do it too.

    Call me weird all you want, but think about it for a second.

    This poem really got me thinking about that particular aspect of physical attraction...so you know what I'm gonna say.

    I love a poem that gets me thinking...so I love this poem!

    Great work iams!

    -Shoes
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
      Do I ever know what you mean here in this write Lorna. The erotic scent of a man.. in my opinion.. can create and make (or break) a very sensual moment.

    I've had moments, where even a stranger's scent, has sent me reeling with desire (not that I did anything about it mind you..lol.).
    It's either the cologne they wear, or even better, their own natural clean and erotic scent, that entices my senses.

    An enjoyable read.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE THIS! something i love just as much as a mans hands is the way he smells! this reminds me of this one absolutely gorgeous guy, when i sat next to him i just couldnt stop smelling him! and i told my mom about him, which is odd to tell your mom something like that but she's cool about that sorta stuff, anyways she just so happened to work with this guys mom and word got around ya know how that goes in highschool. well its all good in the end cause he asked me to a dance! and i cant wait cause i'm sure he'll smell excellent! this is going straight to my favs, i loved every single line.
    -steph
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      Again you've just blown me away with your ability as a writer , i'm forever humbled.
    i love this and i so remember that smell and now i want one so you'll have to find me a man and ship him over (quickly lol)
    take care
    Elaine x
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      "Sex for the senses"...I absolutely loved that! I know exactly how this scent is that is unique to each individual and what it can do to a person! The desire is so intense and yeah...wow, I sooooo know what you're talking about in this and I love this write! Great job dear Lorna!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I need cologn cause i do not have that arousing smell with out it lol
    you like natural smell of heated passion sweat or passion of sex type?
    cool poem I admit.
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      Can I get your number? LOL only kidding Lorna. That is one hot poem though. But it is very tastefully done. Wonderfully visual. I don't know enough about techinique to criticize anyone but I certainly wouldn't change a thing in what you've written above. I love it!
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job, everyone can relate to the fragrance of skin and play our own memories of how that translates to us. We can play several memories, in fact.

    Yes, the sense of smell is the post profound in producing memories, and recalling them just by a whiff.
    I leaving you now to go dream, bye dear!
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Okie.. Dokie,

    Let me try a technical analysis for once :)

    "Your skin has"
    Oh, this is about me.. *blushes a deep red*

    "Such a sexy scent"
    Thank you *blushes more*:)

    "Unique to you"
    I sure am! *regains his confidense*

    "So stimulating, desirable"
    mmmmmm keep going!!

    "Powerful enticement"
    "Not found in any bottle"
    "Exists within"
    Not even in pure vodka on the rocks, mm such metaphore *stares*

    "Cologne would merely mask"
    "Sheer masculine fragrance"
    "A potent aphrodisiac"
    I'm humping the table leg by now, man, you sexy devil you!

    "Yet subtle, gentle"
    "Unlike any smell"
    "Ever known before"
    Oh yeah, my body is a whole new universe baby

    "Draws me closer, arousing"
    "Like sex for the senses"
    Like a black hole of manly scent, mm let's colide! :)

    "Enhancing attraction"
    "Inhaling deeply, slowly"
    "Never getting enough"
    I certainly hope not.. hah! =]

    "Feeding a craving for"
    "Sweetness found"
    "Only on you..."
    OH YEAH, SAY IT!

    "Your natural scent"
    RAWR!
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Lostinbeer | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed, this is very erotic and stimulating. The individual scent of a person whom you love is probably the best aphrodisiac there is. It can excite merely by wafting through the air and into your nostrils. Very nice, very sensual.

    +Jo
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by whisperslove | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey what a sweet piece..I can smell the aroma of that beautiful scent of a man..It reminded me of my first love just a senior in highschool and I was captivated by his scent and I was fortunate enough that the feeling was mutual...Hey this piece just intricately paints the scene for us, I can see you smiling timidly, while indulging in his breath taking cologne...Your describtive words beautifully cemented the thoughts that you are trying to articulate to us..This was such a pleasent piece to read...I thoroughly enjoyed this one.hmmmmm I loved the harmony...Oooh the flow just reinforces the pleasure...really wonderful write...thank you for sharing...Be happy..Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      Really nice work here. A different take on the ‘scent’ of love (or lust). My suggestions are minor, really just some tightening up is all it needs, feel free to use ‘em or lose ‘em.

    Your skin has
    Such a sexy scent
    Unique – DELETE ‘to you’ (redundant)
    So stimulating, desirable
    Powerful enticement
    Not found in any bottle
    Exists within
    Cologne would merely mask
    Sheer masculine fragrance – MAYBE ‘PURE’ INSTEAD OF ‘SHEER’?
    potent aphrodisiac – DELETE ‘A’
    Yet subtle, gentle – LIKE WHAT? GIVE A DESCRIPTION HERE
    Unlike any smell
    Ever known before
    Draws me closer, arousing
    sex for the senses – DELETE ‘LIKE’
    Enhancing attraction
    Inhaling deeply, slowly
    Never getting enough
    Feeding a craving for
    Sweetness found
    Only on you...
    Your natural scent – NICE, STRONG END

    Peace,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      gosh another steamy one ooo lala ok *click*
    starting clinical analysis...

    key:: <> = feelings/strikes me as
    <<> = suggestions (if any)
    " " = your work/emphasis

    "Your skin has"
    the beginning and ending of "your" highlights the effect of the poem to reader and said "target" person <interest>

    "Such a sexy scent"
    I think of pheromone definition::: a chemical substance that is produced by an animal and serves especially as a stimulus to other individuals of the same species for one or more behavioral responses <natural response/ excitment>

    "Unique to you"
    the smell being unique gives me a feeling of commitment and has an animalistic drive to it further amplifying the need/want <curious>

    "So stimulating, desirable"
    the response of the author from intended "target" person of chemical attraction of otuside stimuli to further enhance desire. <frisky/excitment>

    "Powerful enticement"
    the stumili too powerful for person writing/character is enticed into a magnetic attraction to mate's scent <absorption/enticement>

    "Not found in any bottle"
    The is a step out of the usual desire desciption to give a comparative look between natural pheramones and colognes or products on the market that try to adopt the pheramone scent in ingredients yet one can most certainly argue there is nothing lke the real thing.

    "Exists within"
    the statement "exists within" we are the natural producers of the "scent"

    "Cologne would merely mask"
    Cologne kills off the natural chemicals thus inhibiting the efft of it society has long been "trained" to shun the scent as something bad/unclean. I tend to agree with the writer the scent is highly erotic and magnetic in attraction.

    "Sheer masculine fragrance"
    First line to define sex of target

    "A potent aphrodisiac"
    I wasn't sure on aphrodisiac, I had a vague idea but had to look up definition aphrodisiac:
    an agent (as a food or drug) that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire. Then I looked at the word etymology I found.. Greek aphrodisiakos sexual, gem with aphrodisiac properties, from aphrodisia heterosexual pleasures, from neuter plural of aphrodisios of Aphrodite, from Aphrodite...oooo Godess of love

    "Yet subtle, gentle"


    "Unlike any smell"
    again the uniqueness of the scent

    "Ever known before"

    "Draws me closer, arousing"
    magnetic attractiveness
    <erotic>
    "Like sex for the senses"
    I have to commend wow this like is one of kind in language expression very powerful statement
    <etremely erotic>

    "Enhancing attraction"
    more on the attraction <erotic>


    "Inhaling deeply, slowly"
    the drive to futher the experience

    "Never getting enough"
    the feeling present as is <passion>

    "Feeding a craving for"
    the scent as if it were a drug/addiction/both

    "Sweetness found"

    "Only on you..."
    "you" and the next "your" both same person, the effect is well presented.
    Your natural scent

    overall presentation a highly intelligent piece, very classy, highly erotic, and beautifully done, excellent!

    mike
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey lmz ;0)

    I hope that I am spelling it correctly now LMZ;0) I have read it carefully and like your idea. “Sheer masculine fragrance
    A potent aphrodisiac”, “from such a sexy scent” ;0) the unique smell , the unique genetic construction we all have. Craving for sweetness, craving for the unique odour ;0) Your natural scent. Nice little piece ;0) Keep writing ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah yes! those sex pheremones!!

    Hey! I'll let you sniff me, If I can sniff you!! LOL

    What I find so wonderful about these kind of writes (erotic) of yours, Lorna, Is that every line seems infused with an appreciation and love for men. With so much Male bashing going around (of which I partake myself ) It's nice to feel so appreciated adored and wanted! That's how your writes make me feel.

    To me, this was much more sensual than sexual and I enjoyed thoroughly!!!

    Nice write!!


    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]


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