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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rain of Sorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JimweiZERO
    ASL Info:    20/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 1499/843/80
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 870



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRain of Sorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This realm of suffering,
    Is too much to bear,
    One day I know I'll leave,
    Never to return.

    I remain existing here,
    Until that day dawns,
    So my rain of sorrow grips me,
    Never to leave.

    It started the day you left,
    Inevitable but still sudden,
    Our love was waiting in the wings,
    Never to begin.

    The weather doesn't help my state,
    The raindrops fall relentlessly,
    My tears flow uncontrollably,
    Never to cease.

    The day can't be here so soon,
    My vision goes blurry then blank,
    I feel myself leaving me now,
    Never to return.

    The freedom I anticipated eludes me,
    When I find you the grip will stop,
    Until then the rain continues,
    Never to leave.





    Submitted on 2004-04-16 08:59:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmm, not bad. But I feel like I've read this b4. I'm sure it's your own work, but you know what I mean. I guess all it's lacking is a little color, even if it's to add to the bleakness. Peace, love, and all that good bullshyt!
    | Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree, the title is too obvious. It needs an essence of mystery... (wouldn't let me post, grr...) mystery is good, it is mysterious. mmm... mystery.
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very intresting, I agree when pryncess vynom when she said that tears and rain have a connection...but the title's what pulled me in.Btw, I love your userpic, it rocks(so does yugioh):blush:
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very intresting, I agree when pryncess vynom when she said that tears and rain have a connection...but the title's what pulled me in.Btw, I love your userpic, it rocks(so does yugioh):blush:
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      Different from your other pieces... Very good... I found reading it slowly with a whiskey stained english accent it feels very Edgar Allen Poe... Sad, maybe even a little bitter, I like it... The only thing that doesn't fit I feel is the title... Too obvious I guess... But it's a stupid thing to change after it's been up so long
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by ParaGridD | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really cool, i like it. Rain and tears do have a certain link, if this was written about someone who left i hope everything works out soon.
    ~*Pryncess
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
      Your tears fall uncontrollably, the weather dosen't help...Very deep and very similar to the ways that I feel, if you actually took your time to read some of my poems...The love that waited inside the wings was an awesome line...It means it all ended when the person passed through the angels wings...I think this is a great poem...It's perfect and left simple...
    | Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]



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