I like this. It's funny that her hair fell to her toes, I thought, would this have been Jaz had I not paid to have her hair cut? Your hair could fall to your toes. Not the hair from your nose, either. This is very cute, though. Uniquely cute, might I say. Was she wearing lipstick? Cause lipstick makes you pretty.
Unique takes you from one point of view to a way different one... First you tell us you are afraid and then you tell us that you hope she waved which means from fear to friendliness and then you moved it from being out there to being shy by hiding the character crouching... i liked it nice story hope to hear more from you
this is a very unique form of poem. at first it sounds kid of choppy and like it wouldnt be good but something about it made it good. im not sure what. it is good. my favorite lines are her hair fell to her toes
waves of hair that fell and rose it just sounds funny and neat. especially from a guys point of view. just imagining a guy noticing a girls hair that long moving. its kind of comical. well keep it up:D Ashley