Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Irrelevant Turn of Phrase Yodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 849



    Description:
       I think I pretty much told you what the hell this shit means...I was bored and craving a bit of feedback.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIrrelevant Turn of Phrase Yodots
    -------------------------------------------


    And I guess that this is irrelevant
    And I guess that you really shouldn't care
    but I guess I just want you to
    I want you to growl like a bear

    and I really hate this writing
    I seem to continue on
    I really suck at rhyming
    but hey guess what it turns me on

    I wanna just leave this place
    such a line and so cliché
    when I look at you I see my face
    but my words are not what you seem to say

    I did a poster on Canada
    I guess because you want to build a future there
    and it made me happy, but I don't suppose you really care

    And I guess that this is just irrelevant
    and if you curse me you probably should
    but I guess maybe I kinda don't care
    cause I wrote this shit when I was bored




    Submitted on 2005-09-07 13:22:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is great!its funny how i can see a little of myself in you (and many others here) the kurt avvie kicks ass too. i liked the wording you came up with spur of the moment. the bear thing cracked me up too. good work! CJ
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by jahhnysmom | [ Reply to This ]
      You are a crackhead of the deepest form and I don't think it's cool that you can write this goofy *ss sh*t when you're bored and sound better than half the stuff that I'm really focusing on. This was terribly interesting, what really drew me in was the "yo" in the title. Ah, the power of cheese, yo.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I find this hilarious...the fact that you wrote something jsut because you felt like writing PLUS made it rhyme...it was interesting...and like you said, who cares what people think...Do it for you...

    "cause I wrote this [censored] when I was bored"

    I think that's my favorite line...lol forget what others say...keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
      *growls like a bear* That made me laugh my pants off i enjoyed it... kinda childish in the beggining breaking off into seriousness... its very original I really enjoy your style its good and it makes me laugh and feel like i was 8 beacuse its that good... thanks for this laugh and writting... Keep writting and good luck
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      There are many styles of writing on this site and i try to pay attention to all of them, whether i prefer them or not. I don't prefer this piece, but you have to write what you feel whether anyone likes it or not lol!
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the line

    'I did a poster on Canada
    I guess because you want
    to build a future there...'

    its pretty creative to think that boredizm can bring out funny and dinamical point of views.
    the poem it self comes off as a low-tempered-vent / just throwing yourself on to the paper and into your work ../. and thats what i love about your work lori ... its artful, comical , and most of all emotionally original ...
    JWI
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    73470

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Carry written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Cover written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry