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    dots Submission Name: Piece of the Rainbowdots

    Author: whisperslove
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 48/37/7
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 853
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 474


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    dotsPiece of the Rainbowdots

    A piece of the rainbow came down from the sky
    and sat by my side.

    The tears in my eyes were fresh from crying,
    suffering the loss of what I thought
    was my greatest love.

    The purple and blue knew of my pain.
    They rocked me so gently,
    then showed me the way to go.

    I followed their path to the orange and yellow,
    to the moving on
    and the promise of tomorrow.

    Submitted on 2005-09-07 16:32:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very cleverly written and well expressed.
    I like the imagery and simplicity of this piece. It isn't often a poem has both these traits, so that is very cool to have found this one. :)
    I appreciate the positive attitude as well...
    a nice read.. have a very awesome day!
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by Shawnothan | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very colorful transition from grief to hope. The metaphor and light references worked very well in this context. I enjoyed this write.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      How excellent and refreshingly different this was!

    I loved your use of colour to relate to moods, and the personification of the rainbow is a stroke of genius!

    Very very well done!

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was simple and uplifting. . I would suggest introducing more personal and powerful images rather than generalizations. I can feel what you're saying but don't let the colors carry you. Your words, each one within the poem, need to be equally important. Try to limit unneeded vocabulary. Good job and thanks for sharing! -Mel
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by AngelintheRain | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool...the orange and yellow gives me visions of a golden path. I liked the blue and the purple thing too...very deep, short, inspirational and vivid write. Have a good one and keep smilin'

    And WELCOME!
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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