[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: To Tonyadots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 789

       DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO POEMS OF A SERIOUSLY GRAPHIC, SEXUAL NATURE!!!!! This was written right after T and I started up with this bullsh*t that we are doing. I felt a little smug, and wrote this to his new girlfriend. T thought it was really funny. I figured he'd be pissed.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Tonyadots

    He may say that he loves you,
    But he fucked me yesterday.
    As many times as he could,
    In so many different ways.
    He may be sleeping in your bed,
    But bitch, he's cumming in mine.
    And on my couch, my floor, and my breasts,
    In my mouth some of the time.
    He may be playing with your child,
    But I like it when he plays with me.
    Pulling my skirt up around my waist,
    Putting me on my knees.
    He may be driving your car,
    But he's driving into my skin.
    Filling me up and bottoming out,
    Cumming again and again.
    Yeah, he's planning a future with you,
    Thinking about how happy you will be.
    But even as that is on his mind,
    He'll still be fucking me.

    Submitted on 2005-09-08 09:54:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      HAHAHAHA! This was great! I just feel like saying you go girl! lol Man, if you ever said this to Tonya's face..I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that one. I loved it mainly, cus I would never have the guts to write something like this...but it was well written...and you didn't hold back..and you said exactly what you thought. and it was friggin great. lol...take care. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      Well it is very clear that you have a talent for writing. I am sure if you have that you have so much more to give also. I agree that it is very explosive, but it was good. Great luck to you. God Bless, Dawn
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Dawnyd | [ Reply to This ]
      Explosive stuff ! Still, there was very clear and structured theme to what you were saying. It was not a rant, but a well thought out piece of writing and well done for that.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      raivn, if this is a poem about passion, it comes off as passionate hatred.you are very clear and to the point about this situation and that is why it is an effective write.with something like this you shouldn't have to pull any punches and why should you?let them have it with both barrels at point blank range.there are, however, the problems that could arise from other readers who might be shocked despite the disclaimer that you wrote in the description box.you please everybody all the time and even if you could, why bother?a very well thought out piece.good luck and fare well. SoNNy
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Promise written by annie0888
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    This written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]