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    dots Submission Name: suicide machinedots

    Author: unnatainable
    ASL Info:    20/F/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 48/42/23
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 1104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1085

       i wrote this last year sometime so i cant remember what i was thinking.. but its pretty lyrical so any thaughts?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssuicide machinedots

    where theres the answer i ask the question
    whens theres no teacher i learn the lesson
    when i am alone i dont feel welcome
    i will always come off second best

    turn to see hypocracy in my dreaming
    making love to the sound of your heart beating
    i can see the darkness in your eyes
    the cold earth below my say goodnight

    im standing alone cant you see me
    im falling ot peices come complete me
    come kill all of the things ive been
    come be my suicide machine

    when theres no sadness i feel pain
    when theres sobriety im drunk again
    and i dont feel colourful in this place
    another drink and your image goes to waste

    i ask why cant you hear me screaming
    as i lay againts my ceiling bleeding
    my chandaleir contains my light now
    you never thaught this could happen..

    im standing alone cant you see me
    im falling to peices, complete me
    come kill all of the things ive seen
    come be my suicide machine

    Submitted on 2005-09-08 17:59:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great Write!
    Your style is very unique i like how you put all your ideas together and still were able to stick to the topic of the poem i also want to thank you for your comments on my poetry
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      "When I am alone I do not feel welcome" hits home for me. I don't know the rules of poetry writing but I can say I know what sounds good to my inner ear and this poem is on point. LOVEiT!
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...very very good.. but once again pls watch out for your typos... but man you are a gifted writer and i do hope to see more of your work... bravo...
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by peaches | [ Reply to This ]

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