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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: .the brain is scattered.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ink_the_blood
    Elite Ratio:    2.5 - 7/12/10
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 309
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 707



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots.the brain is scattered.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    He runs fast through the meadow,
    Ever faster,
    The colours burst strongly as he runs,
    His mind bursts into thoughts of vampiric taste,
    Blood flows slowly through the veins,
    Stops to take a well deserved breath,
    Pale grows the moon,
    Faster, Faster,
    Rabbit struggling idly through myxomatosis,
    Stumbles into view,
    "In case i die, i want you to walk a few good miles for me", the rabbit says.
    Warmth in his eyes fade to an everlasting cold,
    Slower, Slower,
    Blood flows faster and smoother,
    The dark trees loom closer,
    The Sun will be up soon he says,
    But he says alot of things.




    Submitted on 2005-09-08 21:05:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I loved how, in the midst of reading this, I fell into the poem. The imagery was outstanding, I couldn't have done it better. Hats off
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      Really cool post. It gave me a feeling of something like a night on shrooms or acid or something, with the nature, and color references. I like the rabbit, and how he changes. Keep it up. I'll have to check back on your stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Ratmeat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is like a dream i would have. it made no sense, the guy was talking to a rabbit and the guys dreaing the sun coming up. im not trying to make fun of your poem at all. dont want you to get that impression- i liked it because it was creative and different. something i could read without falling asleep. i always liked vampires anyways ..im just weird like that. i actually liked the format because it broke off and idk made it more exciting made me want to continue. nicely done. one question..why a rabbit?
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by brokensmile | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really find a format to this piece of writing although I do love the idea. You should find your writing style and that way it will catch the eye of the readers, sometimes when it is just written like that, many don't understand it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by AngeloftheVoid | [ Reply to This ]



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