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    dots Submission Name: Torn away from youdots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 515
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 384

       This is a short powerful poem telling its full meaning in a few lines please read

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTorn away from youdots

    I need some help
    That you might be able to give
    I need some help
    To rip you out of my skin
    I need some help
    To be torn away from you
    I need some help
    To start over new
    I need some help
    To keep myself sane
    I need some help
    Stop in my world the rain
    I need some help
    Please let me be born again

    Submitted on 2005-09-09 18:09:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very lovely. I LOVE the repetition of "I need some help." (I'm a fan of repetition... if you couldnt tell.) I agree with your description... yes its short, but it really is powerful. I feel the same way... I'll get over it soon though... I guess. I don't know. Anyways, sometimes you can say the most without really saying very much at all. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a lovely but sad poem! Heartbreak is so hard to deal with especially when you still harbor such strong feelings for the person. It is a hard lesson to learn in life that not all people will treat your heart and feelings with kindness and everyone needs help dealing with reality and one time or another. Hopefully you have moved on since you wrote this poem and see now that you are better off without someone who is so insensitive. Things always seem to turn out for the best with matters of the heart but it is so hard to believe that when you are stuck in the midst of the sorrow and pain. Hope you feel better and have gotten through this most difficult time, coming out stronger and wiser on the other side! Very nice and sincere poem! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I really really like this one...it just read soo smoothly, I think it should be a song...I can hear like maybe Deftones or Mudvayne doing this one...a breathy voice that is leading up to a sream...anyways this was good...hahaha all my comments are bringing your percent down...you wanna fight about it? Cause we totally could man...lol. Later.

    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wit artichoke...that one person is the only one that can help u and no one else can becuz they are the one that hurt u...and maybe can even heal that pain by just completely leaving so u can never talk to them again.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      When I read this I felt a very strong sense of confusion.Thats what I got from this.That only that ONE person can give you this kind of help.But,yet you were hurt by this person.Yet,love them too much to let them go fully.Loved it.
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]
      you're very right.. very strong emotions and plead in just a few lines, i like the repition
    *if you want to talk or just vent, i'll be here, just pm me, i promise i'll be here*
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]

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