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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dirtydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 875



    Description:
       DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO POEMS OF A SERIOUSLY GRAPHIC NATURE. THIS ONE LIVES UP TO IT'S NAME. This is basically my way of telling Tony to pay attention, and come be my "human sex toy," as Jaz puts it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDirtydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel like getting dirty,
    Rolling around in the muck.
    I feel like being nasty.
    I'm in the mood to fuck.
    I want a little pleasure.
    I need a little pain.
    I want a little piece of you,
    Before I go insane.
    I crave the taste of your lips,
    Inhale the scent of your skin.
    Your freaky little playmate is dying for some action.
    She wants to frolic with you again.
    If I took you in my mouth,
    Would you blow your load?
    Or would you turn me around,
    And fuck me till I explode?
    Then again, we could do both.
    Give it to me hard and fast.
    While you're at it, pull my hair,
    And could you maybe slap my ass?
    I feel like getting dirty,
    Rolling around in the muck.
    I'm in the mood for a little fun.
    Do you wanna fuck?




    Submitted on 2005-09-10 10:08:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      perfect, I loved it. Nothing here to critique, I could read it over and over again! This was written so exsquizedly(or however you spell it). Definately an awsome, raw piece!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written...i do like erotic poetry and even though this isnt my "kind" of erotic lol i can see that you have done a good job and that this would appeal to many straight men and women...it doesnt sound too crude at all...which can be difficult in itself...a fine line between erotic and just plain crude...youve done a fine job... :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Hell yeah! I'd high five you if I could!

    This was a great write on this particular subject. You made it graphic, but dare I say, tasteful at the same time?! Everyone needs this once in awhile and you wrote a dang good piece here! Excellent little write!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this... Graphic thing i saw through the eyes... and if that was an invite yes and if not ok it was an ok feeling till you shot it down lol i love it it made me feel good and its wow blew me away... thanks for this write and keep writting
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      lol...ya I like this. :) I've said it before, but I could never have the balls to write some of the stuff you write...maybe that's why I like ur stuff so much. This write was just...raw? Is that the word I want? I'm sure that's exactly what was going through your mind...and your ability to make it flow and sound GOOD...lol...when it's so DIRTY is just phenomenal. Definitely liking this one! ~hailie! O and thank you so much for your comments on my poems. :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      this is funny i like it its not graphic or nothing its just funny. i like the ending. it did have a good flow. did u show him this yet. that would be funny if u did anyway i liked it!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      ha ha! Graphic it is! But not really offensively so...somehow you've managed to soften the blow in the way you've presented this.

    Very nicely done, and scalding hot!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      let me just say, i've definetely been in that kind of mood before. the poem has good flow to it... and the descriptions are... good... please don't think i'm a pervert for saying that though... this is one of the best poems i've reads all day.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by timmycan_tcount | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very graphic but it is what you want and you worte it very well. It flowed pretty much though the whole poem. well hope to hear form you ankeep up th egood work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


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