This is a good poem based soley on your true feelings! This was is personal and spoken from the heart, the brokenheart. I think this is short but it does in fact say so much. And the title is really good too as it says so much in just two words and really sets the tone of this write. Love is so hard in the bad times and being hurt is really tough. But you will find that it always gets easier to deal with and eventually you will see the silver lining as it is always there. Very painful and emotional piece here that is very well expressed! Take care!
Hmm... I like it. I like the way it wasn't too detailed... more people can find a way to relate like that. It's sad though. I love the way you word things. I especially like the last stanza the best... and the use of the word "overlooked." It's a good word to describe what youre saying. Anywho, I'm sorry, I would make this comment better, but my head kind of hurts. I tried to skateboard while I was on a pogo stick earlier and I havent been the same since. lol That had "bad idea" written all over it. ...It didn't go well at all. Anyways... I think I'm gonna go look for tylenol or something. As usual, excellent job.
love is such a screwed up subject to write about just for the reason that it is so hard to find especially for those of us who are shy. but this poem is really good by far to the point and short. peace~beckaand to all of those people who keep worrying about repitition who cares it gets the point across one way or another so stop complaining!
i like it, even tho it was short, as i tell everyone, its hard to put down how you are truly feeling in a short poem, so sometimes its not a good idea, but the peom had the right idea.
the word play and shortness of the poem is what makes the poem original / theres nothing wrong with the short poems / for this one - i'd sugg'est , going over it and adding insight with detale... that would should a strong improvement! JWI
I think it was a little too short, and I'd have liked it better if you elaborated more( I"m not sure what on, just more). In the begining, you used,'overlooked' twice, which I thought seemed ametuer. I like the wording in the last verse, but the whole thing really didn't affect me much. I think you should work on putting forward your emotion more strongly.
it had very good imagery but very little rythym, I also didn't the stanze where "overlooked" was used twice. maybe us "ignored" or something along that line. and it would also sound better if "just" wasn't in theh sentance "and everything just turns"
Submission Name: Destroy me
Anyways... I think I'm gonna go look for tylenol or something. As usual, excellent job. 