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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Destroy medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 312



    Description:
       Very short to the point poem. Please read and comment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDestroy medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take one good look
    at what once stood
    now overlooked
    overlooked by you

    I try to show
    how things will go
    close my eyes
    and everything just turns

    Destroy me so
    that everything is gone
    destroy me so
    and rip away this love




    Submitted on 2005-09-10 19:11:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good poem based soley on your true feelings! This was is personal and spoken from the heart, the brokenheart. I think this is short but it does in fact say so much. And the title is really good too as it says so much in just two words and really sets the tone of this write. Love is so hard in the bad times and being hurt is really tough. But you will find that it always gets easier to deal with and eventually you will see the silver lining as it is always there. Very painful and emotional piece here that is very well expressed! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-04 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... I like it. I like the way it wasn't too detailed... more people can find a way to relate like that. It's sad though. I love the way you word things. I especially like the last stanza the best... and the use of the word "overlooked." It's a good word to describe what youre saying. Anywho, I'm sorry, I would make this comment better, but my head kind of hurts. I tried to skateboard while I was on a pogo stick earlier and I havent been the same since. lol That had "bad idea" written all over it. ...It didn't go well at all. Anyways... I think I'm gonna go look for tylenol or something. As usual, excellent job.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      love is such a screwed up subject to write about just for the reason that it is so hard to find especially for those of us who are shy. but this poem is really good by far to the point and short. peace~beckaand to all of those people who keep worrying about repitition who cares it gets the point across one way or another so stop complaining!
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by boo boo | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it, even tho it was short, as i tell everyone, its hard to put down how you are truly feeling in a short poem, so sometimes its not a good idea, but the peom had the right idea.

    keep writing, i'll keep reading :)

    -Ashes
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by BlindToYou | [ Reply to This ]
      the word play and shortness of the poem is what makes the poem original / theres nothing wrong with the short poems / for this one - i'd sugg'est , going over it and adding insight with detale... that would should a strong improvement!
    JWI
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it was a little too short, and I'd have liked it better if you elaborated more( I"m not sure what on, just more). In the begining, you used,'overlooked' twice, which I thought seemed ametuer. I like the wording in the last verse, but the whole thing really didn't affect me much. I think you should work on putting forward your emotion more strongly.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]
      overlooked was overused a bit... but it's overall a fairly well written piece

    it has a bit of rhyme, and then no rhyme, so that's a bit odd.

    and the rhythm/flow is off. but it's very straight to the poem. keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it. and ur right it is right to the point. i liked the way u wrote it and good form too. i like poems like that. good job
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by lil_gh0st_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      it had very good imagery but very little rythym, I also didn't the stanze where
    "overlooked" was used twice.
    maybe us "ignored" or something along that line. and it would also sound better if "just" wasn't in theh sentance "and everything just turns"

    It was okay.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by die_another_day | [ Reply to This ]


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