This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Ember


Author: whisperslove
Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 48 /37 /7
Words: 28
Class/Type: Poetry /Nostalgia
Total Views: 1394
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 192



Description:




Ember



You touched me,
briefly.

An old ember
awoke in my heart
into a flame

and for that moment,

you were
all
I knew.




Submitted on 2005-09-11 00:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is lovely! So few words here but so powerful a poem! Very nicely done indeed! Love is such a powerful feeling that it really does consume your heart mind and soul and craddles you from sorrow. Reading this gave me the image of a smoldering fire that suddenly finds that dry piece of wood and bursts back into flame again. This is just a wonderful write! Take care!

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Now This is definatley going uinto my favorites! This speaks volumes of the misguided and foolish times I spent with my ex g/f in the years following when we actually were together. Its as if when I am with her a simple touch and the physical takes over and its as if I only know that the touch leads to this and that and so on, and the carnal being is awakened, yet when all is said and done I look back in contempt of myself. This was a fantastic write my friend! and btw welcome to the site.-john
| Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
  Het hey Booboo...
better than the average bear.

Very nicely done. The brevity is a good representation of the lines

and for that moment,

you were
all
I knew.

I like it when the form becomes part of the metaphor.
| Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
  i love it. very short to the point and resembles how alot of people feel in this world when just a lil thing from which someone really loves just comes back and consumes them. i love it keep up the great job.
| Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this.
So much said in such few words.
That moment in time..
when just a touch can stop the world.
You expressed this wonderfully..
with the brief touch awakening the
flame in your heart..
and THAT being all you knew,
at that moment.

If only we could bottle that feeling and keep it always

Very nice!

~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the simplicity and minimalism of this. You know, sometimes one word can totally change a poem, and in that poem that word was "old." It makes me wonder what happened between these people in the past. Was it love that just fizzled out? Was it one-sided, or was it something like betrayal? I wouldn't change this one, but you could make another poem out of the story of this "old ember." Love, Amy
| Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



73900