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    dots Submission Name: Emberdots

    Author: whisperslove
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 48/37/7
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 192


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    You touched me,

    An old ember
    awoke in my heart
    into a flame

    and for that moment,

    you were
    I knew.

    Submitted on 2005-09-11 00:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is lovely! So few words here but so powerful a poem! Very nicely done indeed! Love is such a powerful feeling that it really does consume your heart mind and soul and craddles you from sorrow. Reading this gave me the image of a smoldering fire that suddenly finds that dry piece of wood and bursts back into flame again. This is just a wonderful write! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Now This is definatley going uinto my favorites! This speaks volumes of the misguided and foolish times I spent with my ex g/f in the years following when we actually were together. Its as if when I am with her a simple touch and the physical takes over and its as if I only know that the touch leads to this and that and so on, and the carnal being is awakened, yet when all is said and done I look back in contempt of myself. This was a fantastic write my friend! and btw welcome to the site.-john
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      Het hey Booboo...
    better than the average bear.

    Very nicely done. The brevity is a good representation of the lines

    and for that moment,

    you were
    I knew.

    I like it when the form becomes part of the metaphor.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      i love it. very short to the point and resembles how alot of people feel in this world when just a lil thing from which someone really loves just comes back and consumes them. i love it keep up the great job.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this.
    So much said in such few words.
    That moment in time..
    when just a touch can stop the world.
    You expressed this wonderfully..
    with the brief touch awakening the
    flame in your heart..
    and THAT being all you knew,
    at that moment.

    If only we could bottle that feeling and keep it always

    Very nice!

    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the simplicity and minimalism of this. You know, sometimes one word can totally change a poem, and in that poem that word was "old." It makes me wonder what happened between these people in the past. Was it love that just fizzled out? Was it one-sided, or was it something like betrayal? I wouldn't change this one, but you could make another poem out of the story of this "old ember." Love, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]

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