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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kill her, kill her now!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlindToYou
    ASL Info:    19/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 21/28/13
    Words: 338
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 813
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2160



    Description:
       its not really a poem, i dunno, i had to write it.
    its kinda long. give me some feedback on how your reaction or thoughts towards it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKill her, kill her now!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    kneeling in the damp cool grass
    fists tearing at the earths ground
    tears steaming off the reddish faded cheeks
    i look up at the nightsky
    a mist of rain hits my body

    i kneel there with no shirt
    just a pair of jeans
    grinding my teeth
    saying to myself under my breath
    "what the hell is wrong with me"

    the wind blows briskly
    the chain around my neck truns to ice
    i quiver my skin
    as the rain on my body starts to roll down

    i don't notice much
    i continue to stare into the dark haze
    still thinking
    what the hell is wrong with me

    i finally get up
    i hear that voice agian in my head
    it soflty says
    "kill her"
    and i know if i don't
    this voice will not stop

    i walk into the house
    quietly dodging couches and tables
    i reach for my back
    grab my gun

    i say to myself
    "i can't do this, i love her"
    then the voice comes back
    "kill her"
    i hold the gun out, look at it
    it glistens from the moonlight
    thats shining threw the window
    i cock the gun
    then i here agian
    "kill her"
    i close my eyes
    remebering when we first met
    tears start to roll agian

    she wakes up
    i here her mumble something
    about loving me
    i grab the pillow
    put it on her face
    she starts to freak

    i put the gun to the pillow
    i hear the voice agian
    "kill her, kill her NOW!

    i put my finger to the trigger
    saying what the hell is wrong with me
    but i have to do this
    i look away....

    the neighbours wake up to poping sound
    and light coming from the house across the fence

    they hurry to the phone in fear
    calling 991

    later the ask the police if anyone was hurt

    they say a man pointed the gun at himself....






    Submitted on 2005-09-11 00:51:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was different. I knew from the start that this man was going to shoot himself instead of his lady. Was alot of passion and tears for this lady of his. Very good write. Keep up the good writing.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
      a lot of emotion!this dealt with suicide which is defiently a serious topic! u said it was long and it was a little bit but u dont have to shorten it cuz u had a lot to say and the flow was good i didnt read any choppy parts! anyway good job!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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