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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Flamesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Khaled AbdAllah
    ASL Info:    22 - male - Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 129/137/30
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 544



    Description:
       I wrote this poem specially for my fiancee to show her how I love her and how far her effect on me and how far I have changed but demanding her to help to demolish all my past sorrows which were caused by my ex-faincee.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Flamesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You have my heart
    You have my whole life
    But be careful when
    you get near to this
    dark side of my heart.

    But I know you'll invade
    this part with your love
    flames.....
    Nothing inside my heart
    will resist your waves
    of change...

    Changing me from a man
    with disturbed heart
    into a loving man till the bone.
    Changing me from a man
    who has lost his way
    into a man who knows
    where he'll reach with you.




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 10:19:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very nice poem. I know how you feel with this one. Once you have been hurt by someone that you deeply care for, it is so hard to move on to a new relationship without taking some negative feelings and views along with you. I find myself sometimes judging someone not on their actions alone but also because I have been hurt before and have that fear that it will happen again. It is a very hard thing to get over. But with some effort it does get better and once you realize what motivates your feelings you can achieve better control and not be unfair to your new love. And if you are lucky enough to find someone to help you through it such as in this poem, you come out with an even stronger relationship. One question here...I think you have a typo with 'falmes' I think it should be 'flames'? Overall a very nice poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      vbery sweet i think you should add other details between the first and second stanza .. but overall i think you do it great .. becuase yoou kept your readers expecting what that love made you change. and how love makes people change !
    thanks for sharing .. and hope you can have the time to check my stuff. ..
    ppeace and love!
    and take care!
    Victor!
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      hey dear this is sooooooo good. you must show this to your fiance, she will love it. I like the way you say what you feel.
    nice

    But I know you'll invade
    this part with your love
    falmes...
    Nothing inside my heart
    will resist your waves
    of change...

    I love this stanza. Well done
    with love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-09-27 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. this was really touching...mournful and hoping in a way, but mostly full of love. I can only imagine the love you feel for your fiance. i hope it blooms into an everlasting relationship, and that that "dark side of your heart" will be consumed with her. awesome write.

    -nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sweet...
    The power of love...
    The power of change...

    Forgive me if I read more into this than just your lover. I see the lover of all coming into our hearts to burn away the dark.

    Rumi, Attar and Hafez would be proud of your poem.

    Good job!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]


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