Description: this on i wrote when i promised one of my best friends i would no longer cut myself and make myself throw up and i havn't for 4 months so he's pretty proud of me right now
anyway please leave a comment or pm thanx
izzi x
As my pain flys away
i'm thankful for another day
all of my sadness and sorrow have gone
and now this terrible deed is dead and gone
the razorblade is dead and burried
aslo thats gone are my cares and worries
no need to be scared of what the future holds
as now my story has been told
i'll love my life from this day on
and just hope and pray nothing goes wrong
if it does a new day will dawn
then i'll pick myself up and carry on.
Simply brilliant, very good piece you got here. The rhyme was wonderful and have follow brilliant. The only thing thats holding this back is that there are a few spelling errors in this. Other than there this is simply, again, brilliant. And I really love the end.
man this is good. the way your poem looks at the objects, talking about their morbid history and yet in the end you manage to look forward to bright new day... keep writing this stuff is great
absolutley amazing congrats on being 4 months since harming yourself i completely applaud you and your friend for caring so much about you. as im sure others care also. as for the peice i thought it was amazing. your word usage was terriffic for getting your point accross and the flow and rythm of it was also fantastic. a new favorite for me. great work some of my favorite lines were "As my pain flys away i'm thankful for another day"
"no need to be scared of what the future holds as now my story has been told i'll love my life from this day on"
"if it does a new day will dawn then i'll pick myself up and carry on."
i thought those shows how you have this new found hope and zest for life it also shows your strength. so great work and keep it up and good luck...Joy
beautiful work girl! i love it.. don't really know you but somehow it feels really nice.. very fresh.. it brings out the zeal for a new start.. there are two lines i particularly liked.. "i'll love my life from this day on" and "then i'll pick myself up and carry on." excellent flow.. very well choosen words.. simple yet very effective.. it really does bring out the feeling of happiness.. and yes your friend has every reason to be proud of you.. (i am too!) very well done! god bless!
i liked the flow and i liked the message. you misspelled a word but it was a typing error-you have aslo instead of also in the sixth line. just pointing this out. nothing nit picky about it but over all i loved it and i am so definetely adding this to my favorites.
BRAVO, i am apllauding you for your strength and having a friend to count on. here is the thing and suggestion. She gave you words of couragements and hope. Now, keep in mind she is a great friend or he. but you have to also keep that promise for yourself. friend you are doing good for now, continue and your life prosper to more. peace and keep the hope and faith for your self, not for anyone else. and then by doing that others will feel the joy you do by saying, I helped her, and they will continue to feel needed. that itself breaks alot of stong holds in depression. not everyone but alot. you can also PM me if you need to talk
how wonderful and great your friend is. I am so glad you felt he cared enough to help you out of the darkness. Great write. God bless you and your freind.
Submission Name: !Over!
