Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Weeping Willowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1389



    Description:
       This is a poem about friends.

    The devices vary from rhyme to alliteration with no intentional pattern. They are like different branches from one trunk.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWeeping Willowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I see trees differently today.
    My concerns are the quality
    and quantity of shade.

    I measure the effort required
    to rake their mess
    on crisp autumn mornings.

    In a younger time
    it was about accessibility
    and ease of climbing.

    I was little,
    but she stood strong,
    She was my willow.

    She was a perfect tree,
    at least as perfect
    as a tree can be.

    In constant calisthenics
    branches bowed
    and touch the ground.

    She held her place
    without bragging
    or blustery boasts.

    There was no jealousy
    of maples, cherry or oak
    just resolution to the season

    Fall came without
    grand display. She'd sigh
    and release her leaves

    Easy to climb and strong
    enough to hold me
    in her lap.

    She was my place of
    adolescent
    contemplation

    With her support and
    my intention I rose above
    familiar family tension.

    In those few moments
    I saw beyond
    and looked within.

    No need to weep
    resting in the arms
    of my willow tree.

    I wish I could ascend again.
    I still need such a tree
    and friend.




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 12:09:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice wite I loved all of it and wold not suggest a single change to it. Symbolic all the way through great touch. And it was toching too.
    | Posted on 2005-10-24 00:00:00 | by ThatWasOnceMe | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, I like this one. The phrase "blustery boasts" is a winner, you and Pooh have something going on? I love the last stanza it's a pale sort of lament

    I wish I could ascend again.
    I still need such a tree
    and friend.

    Ahh but we never understood in youth how the Great Mother can caress us from the earth through the limbs of a tree. I love Weeping Willows, this is beautiful, Chrystine.
    I can tell it's straight from the heart.
    much love,
    Nan

    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      An excellent poem, superbly thought out and executed.
    Your constant tree references were life-like and believable, and the hidden meanings were just under the surface and easy to decipher.

    At first I thought of your Mother, but ended up open-minded. The Willow could easily be a place in your mind where you can go to escape the hardships of growing up, like a fantasy land.

    Ooh this has some lovely bits. The "saw beyond" a wonderful expression of one's perspective from up in a tree, and the "looked within" the intraspection that silence and solitude can give us.

    Truly, a stunning poem, I'm very glad I found it, thank you

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      you write very well. im going to watch your page now. hahah. i loved the flow...it was very smooth, unrocky. i can almost visualize your tree in my mind...your description was so good. the emotion was incredible, too. i loved how you compared the past and the present...thats my favorite type of writing.

    take care
    -nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very pretty and a beautiful way to describe a friendship. I love weeping willow trees. They are so graceful and yet they have this melancholy about them, if trees can have such a thing!

    Well done!
    +Jo
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by whisperslove | [ Reply to This ]
      You have compared a lovely tree to a lovely friendship - showing the stability of a friend over even family to always be there and be strong. You have done it in a vivid and most picturesque (sp?) manner. This poem soothes me...put me in a mood of remembering times when I was younger and concerned myself with people/friends who could provide for me what I needed - quality not quantity (the way you used the shade was perfect)
    My favorite part...
    "Fall came without
    grand display. She'd sigh
    and release her leaves"
    Such a simple scene but it was so vivid and peaceful within my mind...
    Excellent piece
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love the idea of your poem and it is really a well-written poem. I think you feel so sad that you do not have the ability to climb again...lol... It is very strange to have a tree as a friend but it is the only needed friend nowadays because it can keep the secrets of one's self very well...lol... You shall be prode with yourself, you are young but you are very great. You know my lover is your age but I think she is going to be 16 with the coming of October. Well done my dear fellow writer.
    Yours,
    Khaled.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
      that was definitely a sweet bit or reminiscence. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I just wrote a tree poem last week while I was sitting outside at school, but am still perfecting it.

    I like how you compare how you see trees today to how you saw them in the past and that your need from the past is still there.

    very nice write here.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    73937

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry