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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ...and if we walkeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dmm
    ASL Info:    50/M/Minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 741/888/102
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1410
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 445



    Description:
       How often I regret that I am not more understanding and so I beg forgiveness,again!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots...and if we walkeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    ...and if we walked, just you and i,
    in a special place alone,
    with nothing on our minds but love
    and dreams we wish to own,

    ...and if we laughed as children do,
    holding hands so tight,
    dancing on the wind borne clouds
    'til late into the night,

    could the past then be forgiven
    and failures be denied,
    our future be refashioned
    and i no longer cry?




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 14:33:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very good Dan. Simple yet very good. You know thats what I really like about your poetry, you words are never really truely complicated, at least from what I have read so for, yet your writing contains so much meaning.

    Keep up he good work and have a blessed and wonderful day Dan.
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautiful, Dan.. a haunting image of longing
    to refashion the past, to be more forgving and
    understanding. love is a fragile thing, indeed.
    you've written a gorgeous poem, and in so few
    words. that's the way i like it!

    peace&blessings,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome write, dan
    this poem is so simple and yet so complex... it brings me back to all those times of my own where i seek that forgiveness and the ability to move on, yet nothing ever comes of it... how many times have i longed to walk away to a place where i could live anew...
    only 12 lines, but i have hundreds of interpretations floating around in my head, so i must now go and reflect... i am glad i stumbled into this peice by randomly checking out your page... thanks for writing and write somemore...

    PEACE and LOVE, greg
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by geherald | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could write a softened heart and a grumpy face, I would put it in this box. The mushy heart for the pretty poem, and the grumpy face that the poem is so simple and yet so...pretty! There's something about walking people have with poems. Ya gotta walk somewhere, and you have to go somehwere with the thought, so why not walk there? It's how humans get to and from places. Just always in poems, and therefore...there are a hundred different meanings you can get from it. Cool.
    Peace, LucyDiamond
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
      Dan, this is a lovely heartfelt poem! Each line just adds onto the next and each stanza more sincere than the last. I love this! It is noble to recognize the things about yourself that might not be ideal and to address them in a poem is just sweet! Understanding isnt always an easy task and I too should probably be more understanding and let go of some things I tend to hold onto. I think a lot can be realized through your words here! Very nice job! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Gulp! uh....... wow

    This is a very emotional read. At it's heart, it's a simple question, yet it makes so many powerful, quiet statements about the questioner. It takes a true artist to say things without stating them.

    Very nicely done.

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh Dan, I just loved this. The thought is so beautiful. And simple. If only a walk was all it took. Peace, my friend.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This really touched me.. as I tend to have similiar regrets and wishes. A very poignant and moving poem.
    And then I ask myself.. why can't it be like that?.. that simple.. just walk hand in hand together.. and forget the past.. live, and love for today.
    Thanks for this.. it's very beautiful.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Dan, this was very beautiful. So few lines packed with so much feeling. I loved the whole poem, but you had me into with your first two lines.

    Very nicely done
    (and I agree - go ahead and forgive yourself...)
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, what a beautiful poem. there should be more men like you everywhere! and usually, most women are willing to and do forgive just about everything. I think this is my favorite stanza:

    .and if we laughed as children do,
    holding hands so tight,
    dancing on the wind borne clouds
    'til late into the night,

    but the whole poem is just fantastic. go ahead and forgive yourself. the rest will follow.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo, Dan! A beautiful little poem, that says so much in its twelve lines: The wishing and longing for past sores to heal, and bad memories to disappear...and the poignant last line that says that...so far...they haven't.

    Excellent work, I really enjoyed this one.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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