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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Yesterdaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AngelOutlaw
    ASL Info:    19/female/WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 672/392/64
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Rant/Angry
    Total Views: 247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1372



    Description:
       Take a wild guess.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYesterdaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    If you really knew me,
    You wouldn't recognize me.
    I'm not a little girl anymore;
    I've grown up.

    8th grade was a while ago.
    A lot has happened since then.
    You take so much credit
    In who I've become.

    A good-girl turned suicidal.
    Suicidal turned bold.
    Bold turned stubborn.
    Stubborn turned bitch.

    Would you like who I really am?
    I've done things that then
    You couldn't have paid me to do.
    I sure hope you're proud.

    You're a huge part of who I am,
    There's no denying that.
    But would you really want the world
    To know all that you're responsible for?

    Do you want the credit
    For the scars he has to deal with?
    Are you proud of the tears
    Shed on their shoulders?

    You're the reason I don't like her.
    It'd be great if you would
    Let her know that for me.
    I'm not the bitch I seem.

    You don't know who I am.
    I've changed more than
    You or anyone else
    Ever would have expected.

    So thanks for all the help,
    For the examples, the reasons.
    Thanks for giving me ammunition.
    The ass behind the bitch.




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 17:21:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was great. Despite lifes harships, you have to continue to press on, and break the chains that bind you. Sometimes life's worst curses, are really blessings in disguise. It seems like this relationship is one of them. You are not bound to become whoever your talking to, you have your own life. If you really want to get back at them, live it more successfull and happy than they could ever dream of.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      gotta keep fighting, never put down my fists
    even though now i feel like slittin my wrists
    u take all the credit and discard all the blame
    u wonder why everything isn't the same
    i'm done talkin, cuz i got nothin 2 say
    it's ur fault becuz u made me this way.

    good rant babe. i hope it gets better. was it ur mom or ur dad?
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      Maybe because this is so personal you titled it a rant but it was a well written one. There are always people who take credit for the wrong things in our lives but it sounds like you're becoming a stronger person despite it.

    Keep your focus and eat [censored] and die attitude and you'll only become stronger. Remember a parents past is not your future.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Woweee! I can really really really really really really relate to this. I mean at first I thought someone was writing about me. The only part that isn't me is the suicidal part. Though at one point I was basically like that. It's amazing how people can relate to each other now and days. Well at least I'm assuming this about you. But either way I can relate to you or the character. Anyways...


    About your write. It was good. Though towards the end to me it seemed to drag on. Maybe thats just me. Ummm everything else seemed fine. So thats all for now.

    Brenna
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I needed a copy of this 20 years ago for my father...
    This is excellent. The way you express this is very strong and bold - you have been there - done that and still are taking names. I really like the whole piece and a few lines were just outstanding...very nicely done
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely a strong angry poem, really gives that screaming outlook to the reader. A few clichéd parts in the poem but that's to be expected in this type of poem.

    In a way I could say I was inspired by the way you let the reader really delve into you minds. But the lines were more of a speaking, screaming state than that of anything else and led the reader to strum through it after the few lines.

    I'm not saying I didn't like it. I liked it for all intents and purposes but It would of been better if you added some deep grind in the skin, prick all the nerves, line. something that leaves the reader wide-eye and in awe.

    You portrayed the poem wonderfully, I like a few of your other poems better though. but nice job all in all! :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]
      This is excellent in the way that you (or the character) has grown up. Has become a fighter because of that person.

    The character has endured hardships and yet prevail, which is always something. I liked the feel in this. The fighter mode. The "I don't give up" mood.
    Really wonderful.
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by She Is Insane | [ Reply to This ]


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