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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: She Is Insane
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 40/60/32
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 980
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1276


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    We stand together on the dirty bridge by 5th Avenue.
    what are we doing here?
    we're lovers
    we're not-suppose-to-happen
    we're fools
    holding hands
    hurting others
    in order to satisfy our thirst:
    a thirst for love,
    for a desire to never be forgotten
    we're fools
    we're already forgotten
    forgotten like a million fading books (
    where their words make no logical sense
    where they clustered together in pairs,
    in threes in fours;
    were they're hidden in dusty book shelves
    making no sense but only to the misunderstood author.
    Just like our love that makes no sense to anyone, but us.
    our thoughts raced in such lusty thoughts
    O, such dirty thoughts!
    We are just fools,
    fools thinking.
    Let's not think.
    Let our lips do what our mind think;
    should we?
    should we risk it all under the moonlight
    and betrayed the sun.
    the sun who doesn't see
    what the moon does?
    or should we say goodbye
    and let this love go to shreds
    like those books -
    clustered in the dusty crowded bookshelves?

    Submitted on 2005-09-11 17:40:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I have a mixture of feelings on this, I"m getting out of this, that maybe it's an affair? I could be wrong, but this is what I'm catching. If so, you've captured the situation quite well. Even though I've never been in that situation before, this piece helps me to see just what some people must feel like, how they can fall in love, but it's almost as if it's in vain, because they can't be all they are to each other. But, that's just what I get from it. Nice write, and I hope to read more from you soon!

    *hugs a plenty*
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed the read. There are intense images and emotions in this. I could feel the tension.

    It leaves me wondering about the rest of the story. Why is this so forbidden? How are others hurt? I am not looking for answers. The fact that reader asks those things means that they are engaged in the piece.

    Nice work
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmmmm. This seems like a classic love story of two people in love despite other people(parents, etc.), who sort of share their own little world and forget everybody and everything else. Kind of classic, without sounding like a rip-off of sumthing else.
    I could never write a romantic, deep piece like this!
    Good Job!

    ~Cruella DeVille~
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]

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