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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hardhearted Hummingbirddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: uncreaTED
    Elite Ratio:    4.86 - 58/69/24
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 743



    Description:
       I really enjoy poetry; sometimes one phrase, a single word selection or an idea blesses me with instant gratification.

    So it was when I read “Foreplay” by 'peaches'. Her use of the word 'garden' to describe the “Y” gave me a 'rush'! At the moment the word 'garden' registered, a poem materialized in my psyche. I dedicate this write to Peaches and every Hummingbird that has frequented my gardens.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHardhearted Hummingbirddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hardhearted Hummingbird

    flitting blossom to flower
    roams a notorious prowler
    with insatiable appetite
    flogging every port in sight

    hovering effortlessly at will
    ever stealthful in his skill
    o'er every pretty petal
    but never one to meddle

    dutifully dunking for nectar
    using only his rigid scepter
    ringing tulips an aural treat
    giving variety to entreat

    his prowess grows by the hour
    with many plants to deflower
    single minded as any boy
    to the garden he furnishes joy




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 19:38:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Good one... well written and almost devious in nature. This reminds me of the nearly similar duplicity used by Robert Frost in Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

    Personally, I think this is truer a few decades ago than it is now. Now it is easier for women to be Venus flytraps than sunflowers or even roses... they can easily tap into that power to be the creative force... the influencer in the relationship.

    But, nonetheless... this is quite an interesting piece.

    "dutifully dunking for nectar
    using only his rigid scepter
    ringing tulips an aural treat
    giving variety to entreat"

    These lines keep reminding me of my philosophy teacher and the way he says one of men's obligations for living is the propagation of his species and how his nature will push him towards that direction. But of course, it is a debatable thing on whether men are really after the afterglow or the dunking process itself.

    Anyway... thank you for writing this one.

    Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      This is cute Ted and just a little sexy in a clever way. I love to watch them, wings ablur I think Da Vinci must have gotten the idea for helicopter from observing these tiny birds.

    hovering effortlessly at will
    ever stealthful in his skill
    o'er every pretty petal
    but never one to meddle

    You have a nice touch with very verse, this one is so visual I could not resist. Nice tight style on this, thanks for sharing.
    peace and love,
    nansofast
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      lol,well! This is quite...um...invigorating? Your comparison of the hummingbird to him is ingenious, and I loved the descriptive words you chose to paint this blushing picture in our minds. It is a well-written and very erotic write.
    I enjoyed it! cher
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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