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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WITH HEART BLEEDINGdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: joeym1962
    ASL Info:    43 / m / oh
    Elite Ratio:    5.2 - 83/75/27
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 197
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 415



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsWITH HEART BLEEDINGdots
    -------------------------------------------


    in this quiet time after the storm
    after sharp early morning words
    uttered by dim lamp light
    after evening plans ended too early
    and sleepless dark hours alone

    my heart calls to you across the wires
    making amends as best i can
    salvaging friendship and discarding
    missed cues and battered moments
    with the dawn of a new day
    we start again




    Submitted on 2005-09-11 21:45:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think attaching the surface of nature's mist / puts a very art'yie style to the poem / like was it's nature's plan or the the repression call of fate and not faith.../.no one may never know ../. give the fact that the poem was short was a good call in the end ../. keep writing and keep the spirit .
    Janus
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      well, I for one liked this poem because it was short, lol but also becaus eit was simple, easy to understand and meaningful. the content is well put, good job.
    This poem actually reaminds me of a certain time in my life where my best friend and I had a fight, it was the worst, but because our friendship bond was so strong we just brished away what had happened the previous day.
    I gues this poem kinda teaches us to forgive and forget ha?
    well this is a good read

    Keep rockin'!
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Writer Chic | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a short poem, but a powerfully written one. It reminds me of my own relationship in the beginning, arguing relentlessly, then making up always. Back and forth like a yo-yo. But, in the end, it all works out. I love the way you have written this piece, the short curt sentences keep in pace with the mood you are setting. I especially like how you have left the last line alone and with no punctuation. It is quite good in my opinion. cher
    | Posted on 2005-09-11 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]



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