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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shadow Walkingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 247
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1567



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShadow Walkingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here I stand, rooted to the core.
    Thy rod and thy staff comfort me.

    These lids are closed
    as the darkness opens before me
    Bearing armour,
    an archetype of strength,
    advancement is inevitable.

    I bare my soles
    and stride into shadows
    that bare my soul.
    In the deepest chasms
    there are terrifying screams,
    and wars, and anger that tears,
    tortured children and a desparate ego,
    and fear that twists and turns
    and burns and runs with aims to hide.

    But the light of this drum I ride
    echoes and pulsates
    in this womb,
    a void that cannot be avoided.
    And I embrace all that I face
    Though I quake in the earth
    I know that though I walk
    through the valley of shadows
    I will fear no evil.
    For thou art with me.
    And in that moment
    when I finally face myself
    I see all that I am
    all that I was
    all that I could be
    all that i can be
    and as I learn to reflect on that,
    I learn to bear souls.

    I know you.
    The light is on in the darkness now
    I am the vigilant watcher,
    The grip is weakened.
    The strength of teaching
    has been truly experienced,
    and on the path that once seemed so treacherous to tread
    I now stand wondering
    what was all the fuss about?

    But wisdom knows the truth
    and I begin to ready myself for the next journey.




    Submitted on 2005-09-12 07:25:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a beautiful write, i mean it depicts almost perfectly the anguish of life and how u must go threw it...its beautiful...i especially like this part "But wisdom knows the truth
    and I begin to ready myself for the next journey."....lol i now know y the Insights are on ur favorite list....and i dont know if u are religious but...there is a verse in the bible....Dan 12:3...sorta supports the Insights
    | Posted on 2007-03-26 00:00:00 | by eagle wing | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. many messages fgrom this writing i love it one of my favorites .. i love it even thought i was about to close this wondow at the begining but they it just got me to the message behindd this write.. i like the words and the rhyme i love it .. take care.,.
    and keep on writing
    check out my stuff though bye
    Victor
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that the readers are probably put off by the archaic language (like "Thy rod and thy staff comfort me" and "Thou art with me"), but I know you're quoting Psalm 23, so I think it works. Another thing that might have put people off are the polysyballic words, but I get bored reading common and short words, so that works too. Don't let a lack of readers or comments discourage you, but I know it's hard not to do so.

    I like the message too, but I was also attracted by the wordplay.

    I bare my soles
    and stride into shadows
    that bare my soul.
    In the deepest chasms
    there are terrifying screams,
    and wars, and anger that tears,
    tortured children and a desparate ego,
    and fear that twists and turns
    and burns and runs with aims to hide

    That's just so full of alliteration, homoioteleuton (using similar endings on adjacent or parallel words), and skillful, ironic use of homophones.

    You did a great job on this one,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. how has this gone uncommented on? And just your luck that the first one is mine and you will find it to be useless to you. ALl I can really do is point out what I love about it.

    First, there is a strong message to it and an uplifting one at that. There is a feeling of discovery that is inspiring. blah blah blah...let me cut to the chase...that's all fine and good but truth be told I'm a pop poet and love the word plays more than the message.

    I bare my soles
    and stride into shadows
    that bare my soul

    a void that cannot be avoided

    And I embrace all that I face

    I love all of that stuff...and this passage just rolls so sweetly (sweetly? odd word with such a message of dispair, but again, I'm talking sounds here)

    there are terrifying screams,
    and wars, and anger that tears,
    tortured children and a desparate ego,
    and fear that twists and turns
    and burns and runs with aims to hide

    I'm not a big fan of the thys and thous but you make em work in this one.

    I now stand wondering
    what was all the fuss about?

    as should we all

    it's all good baby
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]


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