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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Within the Clouddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Crow
    ASL Info:    24/f/Georgia
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 410/475/72
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 982
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 307



    Description:
       hehehee. i wrote this one for Rueness. In school. She should be proud. look how she's corrupted me so. >.< hehe, hey, Runess, notice, it's under the "happy" category.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithin the Clouddots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is a little place, I think
    that isn't very far
    a little place of dreams and wings
    of fairy tales and twisting trees

    A perfect world, perfect grace
    a pretty, lovely clearing
    It's heaven hidden in a cloud
    of smoke from this sweet leaf.




    Submitted on 2005-09-12 07:50:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice little piece...although i have to say i wished there were more of it to read..but having said that.. it is still nice the way it is...keep it happy and dont let that place become one you dwell in too often ..because it can turn hideously ugly if you do..stormy
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      *cough* Clue in the surreptitious motives! *cough*
    Tis' Truffle...and at first I must say, this poem is a piece of Heaven to read. It causes said reader to float on their own cloud of bliss to the very last stanza. Then perhaps they pause for a moment to read deeper into this simple piece, looking for any bit of wording that didn't fit...and there they see it.
    "It's Heaven hidden in a cloud
    of smoke from this sweet leaf."
    Then, bychance, said reader cracks a smile and perhaps a wink at the ulterior motives. Myself personally? I don't need a 'sweet leaf' for MY crazyness! That being said, I'd now like to say this provided my with a chuckle indeed. *winks at Rue*
    | Posted on 2005-10-02 00:00:00 | by Trufflepiggy | [ Reply to This ]
      We all called it 'whacky weed' when I was a boy now they call it grass when it is a leaf, what a crazy name. I do believe the trwisted trees are the result of too much smoke, mix it with a bit of real tea and ewverything will become less cloudy and the lights will go dim in your dreamland in the sky.
    Not that I know this, I read a lot and listen very carefully when others tell stories about that little 'clearing in the forest', Hahaaaa!
    I know you think I'm just blowing smoke here, but you got a real little double jointed knee jerker here.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      Hehehe. Tea is good, but leaves are AMAZING! Crazy like buffalo gravy and whatnot with a robot in a parking lot. Bitch. Yeah, you pwn katie, it says so on my shoe, and so it must be. I love the sweet leaf. And I love you. Peaceness. -rue
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      good writing. though the subject matter is quite pitiable, as is the false happiness, nevertheless the writing is good. you should definitely get rid of that random period at the end and correct your random capital letters, but other than that i'd say you have a pretty solid poem.
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, that's some leaf. And when you say twisty trees, do you mean like pretzel twisty, or like licorice twisty, or like "The Twist" twisty? Just curious. I have a friend who goes by the name of The Wise Caterpillar. I am almost positive that he is familiar with this leaf of which you speak. I myself prefer tea. Lovely poem!

    -The Mad Hatter-
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Pass some of that sweet leaf over this way! lol
    I really liked how much you fit into such a short poem. Not only that, but I liked the poem itself! Twisty trees hey? I'm envisioning trees that are wrapped in rainbow colors! That's just craziness. Thanks for taking my mind on a bit of a trip this morning! Have a great day!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]


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