it has a lot of feelings and iemoptions here i think that is why i like it .. but well yu could improve it by using more metaphorical words i may say so a good writing and hope you can check out my writings soon take care peace and love and have a nice day Victor
Your poems are TREMENDOUS! You put so much imagery into it that it make you fel as if you are actuall there. It makes me kind of sad that you felt that way but I'm glad that you overcame it. GREAT JOB MY HOMIE G!
This was my favorite part . . .
I fear that my heart has hardenend that there is a barrier between heart and soul as my senceless mind wanders to and fro
have i no control over my soul? how can i let these worldly desires prevail? I can't I won't
worthless these tears flow in vain
It makes you picture what is going on. WRITE SOME MORE POEMS because all of them are soooo soooo coooo . . . lol.
i like this poem, but i feel that you need to go into more detail on why your crying? what words where said in vein? these are the things you need to detail on. good write though.
A lot of emotion however alot is to be said in this poem. Why do you have pain and why are the tears in vain? I mean there are so many questions that could be asked for this poem. My suggestion would be to read it over again and see what can be added and or taken out! ~Krystina~
I like this poem. I like the fact that you thought you couldnt overcome your tears, but you conquered them anyway. Other than some spelling errors, it was a fairly good poem. The only suggestion I have is to maybe make it where the reader can understand it a little easier
Submission Name: tears wasted in vain
