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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Turning Offdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1152



    Description:
       This was written after a long discussion with a friend about the ying and yang of life and various other topics while pretending we are both philisophs of old, yet while working at a convience store.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTurning Offdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can lie
    with a photograph
    hiding the imperfections
    of family life


    turn the projector off
    throw the bottles out
    and mommas singing that song

    but she doesn't
    know best
    and you need more
    then just love

    put your cigarette
    our on my arm
    cause I need my pain

    Smile once for me
    then let the tears go
    call out my name
    I'll come running

    not a hero
    no shiny armor
    in my closet

    wearing my scars
    with honor
    laughing about
    the mistakes

    and your humming that song
    yes you will be loved
    you will be

    but if I didn't know pain
    how could I hope
    to show you joy

    my imperfections
    give me strength
    I'll always come runnning
    but I just might
    trip along the way

    turn the projector off
    turn the radio up
    and listen cause
    this ones for you




    Submitted on 2005-09-12 22:21:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the entire idea of the piece and all of your works as a matter of fact. I love how you can encorporate themes or ideas the the audience can relate with, creating connections, and a better way of writing.

    I love how this is written, making it seem so real, so simple.

    The imagery of turning th eprojector off, throwing the bottles out, the music in the background, its all so real its like I can touch the story. And the strange thing is that I know where you are coming from, that story of time. When your friend finally wkes up one day and says 'this isnt right' why was I looking through these photographs the whole time trying to be something I am not? I want a change' and then you are there to help them through it even if you feel inadequate or inept.

    Sorry if I interpreted it the wrong way. I love your work though. Keep on writing.
    | Posted on 2006-12-19 00:00:00 | by blankscreen | [ Reply to This ]
      i renember falling in love with this one in your journal... honestly i did...

    as i read it i could hear a few different songs playing the background... words triggering off soundtracks... dunno if that was intentional or whether you were always aware of it...
    i realise the reference to Maroon 5's she will be loved was intentional but how about the similarity here to some old song:

    call out my name
    I'll come running

    reminds me of:

    if you just call out my name
    and you know wherever i am
    ill come running to see you again...

    purpose or am i just a freak who thinks in songs to loudly...? (maybe dont answer that...)

    but really... i do love this piece...

    what i love most about it is the rawness of it... the brutal honesty

    "i may not have an armour but that doesnt mean i cant save you... that doesnt mean you arent a princess to me... that doesnt mean i dont like/love/need you..."

    and the promise at the end of always being there but not claiming to be there perfectly... admitting your human and stuble along the way... theres something totally beautiful about that... its so humble and yet it resonates something so pure... i cant explain myself...

    ugh! and you thought this was crap...?
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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