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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: for himdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 779
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 434



    Description:
       it hurts to know that everyone you love won't love you back...the only one i have ever loved refuses to open his heart to me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfor himdots
    -------------------------------------------


    deadly in his arms
    the blade is what i seek
    willing to do myself harm
    the pain is at its peak

    the world is falling
    blood runs from my vein
    my name in his voice, he's calling
    life's slowly fading away

    i quickly clean the mess
    afraid that he might see
    because i cannot confess
    the anguish he causes me







    Submitted on 2005-09-13 02:42:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      good poem. i am not typically one for rhyme, but it kind of gave it a sick undertone. which clearly worked for the shock value (check previous readers comments) and the dramatic effect.

    i can relate to this experience... i dated a guy through high school and college (a good 7 years of my life), we broke up and i didn't date anyone for about a year and a half (i wanted to make sure that i was over him). the next guy i fell for was a real jerk with a capital J. i became a little obsessed over him (he would call me and tell me what i wanted to hear, he would give me just a little taste of what i wanted, and then if i asked too much, he would just not call me, then he'd call after a few days and would say that it was my fault by being too demanding).

    to make a very long story short, one day he didn't call or show up. i was so upset that for a few seconds i thought about doing something really crazy like hurting myself to get back at him. then i thought he probably wouldn't even care if i did hurt myself, because he only cares about himself.

    so, i did get back at him in my own little way. i lost some weight, and dated a really wonderful guy from my office. we got married and i have a pretty nice life.

    please don't ever think about doing something like that, because the guy is never worth it...

    layla
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by colagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Elephantasia... why would anyone... and I mean anyonen ((Insane or otherwise!)) give a man such power over them! Hurting yourself because the 'pain' in your heart is so great because this fool refuses to see your beauty. No one should ever convince themselves that they cannot be loved... and in this case (by your description) it seems you have become infatuated (or in love) with an idiot... but to be in love I think it must be a mutual thing... because love requires two people (or objects...) to be a true thing.

    Try to find something that makes you happy and don't worry about love... It will come sooner or later.
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      To lay down one's life for another, in order to save someone, is the picture of love and is noble. To die for the sake of love because someone won't love you back is attention seeking and somewhat selfish.

    You expressed yourself in a clear and concise way. I hope you are not genuine in the ideation.
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Self mutilation over a guy! Why do you give him such authority over you I ask myself. The message in your poem was clear if somewhat dispairing. Good to write out your pain though...better than trying to slice it out
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]


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