[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Coulddots

    Author: Emerging Soul
    ASL Info:    48/VERY female/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    4.36 - 1240/1114/244
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 590
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1383


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Coulddots

    I could be like all the rest, you know

    I could go out after work and sit in a bar
    And spend every night out with friends
    I could bring strange women home with me
    Or go home with them

    I could beat the shit out of you
    When I come home drunk at night
    Or just because I feel like it
    When you get too mouthy with me

    I could make you stay home all the time
    And never take you out
    I could take away all your credit cards
    And measure out an allowance for you to spend

    I could blow all of our money
    And not pay all of our bills
    I could be irresponsible and broke
    And not keep a steady job

    I could listen in on your phone calls
    And read all of your mail
    I could keep you away from your family
    And forbid you to see your friends

    I could treat you like a whore
    And rape you every night
    And never make you come
    Or even care

    I could treat you like shit
    Instead of buying you everything
    Doing everything for you
    Tolerating your stupidity

    Maybe your problem is, you've got it too good
    You just don't appreciate
    How good I am to you
    Maybe I should start acting that way

    I could, you know

    Submitted on 2004-04-16 15:07:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      god! this is awful... the speaker hasnt done none of these things but it seems as if they're planning it... wow... this is awf though also coz i have been in a situation similar to this so i can kinda identify with this and i think thats why it also makes it scary for me... anyways... powerful, emotive write
    | Posted on 2004-04-17 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm a little afraid myself. because though the speaker hasn't done those things, they have a very deep anger it seems toward that person. graphic, is the word that comes to mind.
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      That actually makes me not like the spekaer. I'd think it would make me be all okay, I have ti good, but instead it makes I felt like the person was as low as his threats. I had good mental pictures of this.

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      Eeek. Im very scared right now. Yeah, the details were very vivid. However there was hardly any imagery. I really like the theme though, and all of the emotion put into this.
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by roxygirl239 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Fasade written by jackz
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]