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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: whateverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1355
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696



    Description:
       i have no clue. but im kind of sad. so be gentle and try to grab something out of it for heaven's sake...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhateverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    early morning in Madrid
    can't remember what we did, but I know
    something real heavy went down
    spanish sun is risin and we wander back to town
    red and gold the banners of cafes
    Red and gold, the gods of drunk dismay
    flash before i don't know who
    shouldn't bother if its you...
    but what if it was, and you'd just smile...
    i'd have you heated in a little while
    back on the ground another bet
    already won cheap cigarettes
    i light one as the peasants roam
    followed someone else to 'home'
    my head hurts and you are tired
    the morning spain woke us in fire




    Submitted on 2004-04-16 15:28:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ooo... i liked this... i was reading it wishing i could have woken up there... very cool... i could imagine myself walking through the streets... well done
    | Posted on 2004-04-17 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      great job I liked the style a little different then normal which makes it good.
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      I think even Bowie would be proud...felt like I was there too!!! I was dancing as I was reading is it a song too??? Great job & thanks for taking us to Madrid...Love, Peace, Joy!!!
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Imagery was fantastic. Your caps seem a little capricious, I would try using them a tool for emphasis, other than that, good write. ;)

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      ...lucky you knew where you were when you woke up *L* from the sounds of it, it might have been kind of blurry if it weren't for the banners...
    I could picture the scene though...good imagery
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      -nods- great job. the imagery and emotion are amazing, though with the content at hand i wouldnt expect anything less.. great job.
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by XxMusikJunkiexX | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...I just had a groovy mental perambulation on ths streets of Madrid!
    Your caps do need work, and in this line I think the "little" is redundant..
    i'd have you heated in a little while
    Otherwise, I like it a lot!

    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]


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