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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Land of the Lonelydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: whisperslove
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 48/37/7
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1342
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 977



    Description:
       A lost soul..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLand of the Lonelydots
    -------------------------------------------


    She roams the land of the lonely,
    soles weary from travel.
    Bits of gravel inch their way
    into holes torn in her shoes.

    She knew this time would come,
    for love had turned
    to betrayal and deception.

    Fully prepared, she wraps
    her cloak around her
    to fight the frigid air
    that seeps into her bones.

    Night descends upon her,
    darker than shadows
    creeping down empty streets,
    no lamp to console her,
    not a friend in sight
    to hold her hand.

    Distorted whispers
    blow in on the breeze
    to torment and ridicule.

    "You played the fool
    too many times."

    Eyes mist to tears falling,
    releasing years of broken dreams.
    Forever it seems she's searched
    these streets for kindred souls,
    only to find
    she walks alone.







    Submitted on 2005-09-13 19:28:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      sad. But I think we can all relate to this feeling. In some ways I think none of us are truly alone...there is always someone that we can turn to. But then I think that almost all of us are alone in that even if we have someone to console us, nobody really truly cares, at least not enough to change anything for the better. And that is where we have to rely on inner strength, and this is what determines our character and ultimately our destiny.

    I love the opening stanza. Clever and it really sets the tone. Good stuff, in a sad way.
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      graeme took the words right out of my mouth. i really enjoyed the fifth stanza:
    "Distorted whispers
    blow in on the breeze
    to torment and to ridicule."

    very well written.

    :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by jeffiner | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, very sad. A nice melancholy, almost wistful walk with a lost soul.

    I like this, it's a bit different from the run-of-the-mill lost love poems.

    Well done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love that. It's so sad in a pretty kind of way. The description is awesome. It's like a (very well-worded) story. The end is my favorite:

    "Eyes mist to tears falling,
    releasing years of broken dreams.
    Forever it seems she's searched
    these streets for kindred souls,
    only to find
    she walks alone."

    I especially love the last line. You express the lonliness perfectly. I have nothing but compliments for you. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]


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