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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Burden Againdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wakethedead
    ASL Info:    34/M/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.99 - 13/13/9
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Lyrics/The pain inside
    Total Views: 545
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1210



    Description:
       I've written this one way back 1998. A simple lyrics that compliments its music. more lyrics too come. Comments would be highly appreciated. Thank you


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBurden Againdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the sky is dark and its beginning to rain
    I felt the breeze that took away the pain

    though you know that it wonít be the same
    though we know that things will never be this way

    ...again

    the pride is down to a lower ground
    the comfort inside is nowhere to be found

    though you know that it wonít be the same
    though we know that things will never be this way

    again, all i feel is these burden again
    again, all i have is this blood in my hand
    again. all iíve got is this pain in the end
    again, all i feel is this burden again

    away from the fear that giveís me time to learn
    far from the fires but close enough to burn

    though you know that it wonít be the same
    though we know that things will never be this way

    how low can you go
    as it moves toward your way
    not knowing that i
    would be taken far from yesterday

    again, all i feel is these burden again
    again, all i have is this blood in my hand
    again. all iíve got is this pain in the end
    again, all i feel is this burden again




    Submitted on 2005-09-13 23:50:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      .. wow... love the rythem and the meaning... i'd say just ignore ABoxinACage if ya want, though... you might just wanna listen to waht he has to say becuase after all, its his opnions *frankly, i think he's a little cracked*
    i love the repition
    my favorite lines are probably

    the sky is dark and its beginning to rain
    I felt the breeze that took away the pain

    i love the image becuase i absolutely love the rain at night, it makes me content and if im super-stressed, i can just sit there and cry in the rain and relax more than i can ANY other way
    knowing me, i'm probably going to read too deep into this buuut, the way i felt these lines are as someones standing somewhere desolate and their arms streched out as the rain is coming down and the cool *now even colder by the rain* breeze is going over, aroudn , in their body while its cleansing their soul, everything is dark so the figure is little more than a silhioutte *sp* and any tears shed are quickly washed away, just as the overwhelming pain they feel..

    i probably did read too much into it, but i really love those lines and it brings so many good connotations of relaxing and peaceful times that its very reassuring

    thank you very much
    i wish i could hear this as a song one of these days...hmmm lol
    till next time
    peace
    danielle
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]
      hey! dont' pay attention to the last comment that you got... I jsut critiqued one of his poems and he's not exactly an "expert" on poetry... not saying I am either.. but i think that you can't exactly just rip on someones stuff if you're not all that good either, and you have to say what you liked about it too.. that is how constructive criticism works! lol.

    anyways, since this poem is actually basically lyrics, the repetition is great. I liked the rythmn of it, it definitely had a songy feeling. It was a great read for reflection on my life and stuff. It really made me think.

    have a great day!
    ~Amanda
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by AmandaLyn | [ Reply to This ]


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