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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whisperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 705



    Description:
       This is dedicated to my cousin, Jessie Thomas. I wrote it when her grandmother passed away. Natural death is a difficult thing to write about, and I just hope that I could do Myrtle some justice with this memorial to her.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhisperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    One whisper and it's over,
    Her eyes are closed forever.
    All that's left now are the memories
    Of the times that you had together.
    One more blink and the air is gone from her lungs.
    There'll be no more tears from those eyes.
    She finally rests in the peace she deserves.
    There'll be no more pain-filled cries.
    One final sigh escapes her lips.
    Her pain and suffering are done.
    She was loved by so many
    And now missed by everyone.
    One whisper and it's finished.
    Her beautiful soul has passed through.
    It's okay to grieve for this tragic loss
    Just remember that she loved you.




    Submitted on 2005-09-14 09:54:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I know that I read this when she first died and all but it still makes me cry and it is weird that I read this today cause I was talkin about her yesterday with momma...man this is soo pretty...

    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This was truly touching, I think you did Myrtle more justice than you think. Your sorrow really came through in this piece and your wording and imagery was amazing. Congrats on a job well done.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      The ending was the part that really got to me. Maybe death by natural causes is a hard subject to write about but you've pulled it off. I hope your cousin Jesse felt better when she read this. Anyways, I'd give this poem a 9.3 out of 10. Keep the poems coming.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very sad but beautifully written piece...i think you expressed the loss very well and the flow etc are perfect ...and it makes for a very easy read...rolls of the end of the tongue so to speak...im sure myrtle would have been very touched...as was I... :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. I think you did a great job with this memorial. It was very peaceful and calming to read this. I lost my grandmother almost 3 years ago, but it was from cancer. Your words hit very deep and I applaud you for writing something so sincere. Thank you so much for sharing and you did a wonderful job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful and very touching. Funny sometimes how death can end the pain and suffering of one person and begin what seems to be pain and suffering for those left behind. But like you said, focus on the good things and the love the person gave in life.
    I really liked this one. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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