[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Whisperdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 654
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 705

       This is dedicated to my cousin, Jessie Thomas. I wrote it when her grandmother passed away. Natural death is a difficult thing to write about, and I just hope that I could do Myrtle some justice with this memorial to her.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    One whisper and it's over,
    Her eyes are closed forever.
    All that's left now are the memories
    Of the times that you had together.
    One more blink and the air is gone from her lungs.
    There'll be no more tears from those eyes.
    She finally rests in the peace she deserves.
    There'll be no more pain-filled cries.
    One final sigh escapes her lips.
    Her pain and suffering are done.
    She was loved by so many
    And now missed by everyone.
    One whisper and it's finished.
    Her beautiful soul has passed through.
    It's okay to grieve for this tragic loss
    Just remember that she loved you.

    Submitted on 2005-09-14 09:54:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I know that I read this when she first died and all but it still makes me cry and it is weird that I read this today cause I was talkin about her yesterday with momma...man this is soo pretty...

    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This was truly touching, I think you did Myrtle more justice than you think. Your sorrow really came through in this piece and your wording and imagery was amazing. Congrats on a job well done.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      The ending was the part that really got to me. Maybe death by natural causes is a hard subject to write about but you've pulled it off. I hope your cousin Jesse felt better when she read this. Anyways, I'd give this poem a 9.3 out of 10. Keep the poems coming.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very sad but beautifully written piece...i think you expressed the loss very well and the flow etc are perfect ...and it makes for a very easy read...rolls of the end of the tongue so to speak...im sure myrtle would have been very touched...as was I... :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. I think you did a great job with this memorial. It was very peaceful and calming to read this. I lost my grandmother almost 3 years ago, but it was from cancer. Your words hit very deep and I applaud you for writing something so sincere. Thank you so much for sharing and you did a wonderful job!
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful and very touching. Funny sometimes how death can end the pain and suffering of one person and begin what seems to be pain and suffering for those left behind. But like you said, focus on the good things and the love the person gave in life.
    I really liked this one. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bond written by saartha
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]