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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This is...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Avril54
    Elite Ratio:    3.44 - 163/206/34
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 844
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 418



    Description:
       Uuuuuuhhhhh..... just read the @^%^ing poem.
    I hope it duzn't suck,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis is...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is... a poem without a theme
    These are...the words of a dream
    I'm trying to see clearer
    my image in the mirror-

    I am sorry to Elite Skills
    At the moment
    I just can't write a hear-felt poem
    Even though that's what I owe 'em
    Not write now
    I can't do it
    Every time I try
    I just screw it

    Up.




    Submitted on 2005-09-14 17:18:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      ...that was annoying childish and used no talent seriously you need o do something else with your time besides write poetry try stabbing yourself repedely with a sharpie and make little black dots all over you it will be much more creative.
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by Seraphim | [ Reply to This ]
      hard to tell whether this is a mockery or actual frustration. I must say it serves well as both. one tiny nit really, nothing big, just on the line “I just can’t write that hear-felt poem” you might have wanted “heart-felt” instead. I see that the line “not write now” could very well be a crafty play on the word, so I’ll leave that alone. other than that I like it as both a jest and a frustration piece. I leave it up to you to tell me which it is. have a splendid day,

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I didn't laugh. But I know how frustrating it can be to want to write, to need to write, and your brain shuts it's self off...going on strike or something...Heh, sorry.

    Not write now
    I can't do it

    I like this, it makes me thing of those times when someone expects you to do something, but you can't, either mentally or physically, you just can't. You get tied up in so much stuff that you just wave everything off, like "What does it matter?"

    But yeah...I am just a wierdo, don't take anything I say too seriously, you might be greatly dissapointed, lol.

    Very honest poem, I am off to comment on your other one, even if you don't want me to!

    Krazy
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Made me laugh. The feelings told seemed very familiar... I get very confused instead when i'm writing things, anything. specific.
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I reckon Dave missed the point, this is tongue-in-cheek funny!

    I liked it, a cynical view of someone so wrapped up in their problems thay can't see what's under their noses.

    (Hey, if it is serious, sorry!) but I don't think it is.

    Well done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I have to agree with my buddy Hyproglo, the frustration and sorrow you are feeling comes through wonderfully. I really think you have no reason to be sorry, I think you will exceed your expectations in time. I see great potentional!

    Enjoy the rest of your week.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, if this wasnt a heartfelt poem I dunno what is. Thanks for being honest in the description and in the write...that made it comical to me in some wierd way... And...I think it was a pretty good write ta boot as well. The last four lines really show your frustrations...the way they were formatted, ya know? I think a lot of people will enjoy reading this. I know I did. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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