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    dots Submission Name: moments before the falldots

    Author: waffuru
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 12/23/8
    Words: 393
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 837
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2186


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    dotsmoments before the falldots

    A love of taste. A taste of blood. Let that chord ring out a little longer.

    It seems like our dreams keep commiting suicide. A ritual of passion into an hour of regret. An hour of should've and shouldn't have. In that hour we destroy everything I would hope to become. This rock will never become the sand underneath the ocean. This is the rock that damned our river.

    What chance does an unloved child hold? Where do forgotten memories go? Who keeps track of all the tomorrows gone by?

    Take a risk, This is your chance. I won't say no. One word could be the key. We can still become what we've spent so many nights reading about. Children's books of economics and polictics. We've grown up so fast.

    I want to find something worth holding, locked into your chest until we need it. A ray of light and a record player.

    How will you find treasure if you never set sail? Sink my ship while it's still in port. Water pours in and my tears pour out.

    I may have been seeing the wrong angle but I saw you. You were about to say what you refused to speak. Those things you left in the wreckage. Shreds of things they can never clean up. Littered the asphalt. They didn't see them. But standing on the corner it's all I can see.

    Roads become rivers and I never knew how to swim. And these birds always fly north.

    The true meaning of your lies. The face value to your eyes.

    It is a metaphor used before, but you are glue. and you know, I can't see without my glasses. I was blinded by my pity. I can't even function alone. I am unable to find a reason to continue for myself. I have completed everything that I wished to finish. I am complete.

    But even in my complete form, I am merely a piece of the last puzzle. I seek a love of need, not of passion. I wish to require you. I may even already require you. Fill the car and let's be gone. My dreams never could float.

    The ink isn't even dry and I burn the letter to you. I always found fire to be the best spellcheck.

    Submitted on 2005-09-15 04:02:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The last part when you burned the letter really got to me. It felt through the whole thing that you really cared about who evr it was, and then you went and just burned it. It's almost like you were were walking away from your feelings. I know that I've just done that. I really really do care about someone, but there are just so many things that are working against us, I just can't do it anymore. And I broke his heart. He said that he understood, but I know that he really doesn't. I wish I could change things, but I can't. I was thinking more on the burning the letter thing, and it seems to me that msn and e-mail can have the same effect. You can chose to just not say something to someone, and even delet everything that you've written. It all gets lost in the computer code, and they will never know. It's kind of a nice feeling to write everything out and then burn it. Anyways, I loved this because it felt really honest, and most importantly real. We all can write about anything, but it makes it good whenever it feels real. Awesome job

    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      the lines, " what chance does an unloved child hold" that got me, grabbed me by the cahuunies...lol. i'm a [censored], plain and simple, a mistake you could say, a result of way too much to drink, i was given up, and i have fought my way through person after negative person, proving people wrong and striving to be the best...and i'm not done yet. swimming is a human function, as long as you don't panic, you'll be good, i liked it though...like you were reflecting on something painful, holding onto it, but watching it go at the same time. it's a fav dude.
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]

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