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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pipe dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wakethedead
    ASL Info:    34/M/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.99 - 13/13/9
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       A song is about self-delusion, idealism, confusion, and self-realization. Knowing that you can do something great but reluctant to continue. Iíve written this way back June 2004 and finished recording the song with guitars, bass, synths, and drums. Song Iíll be posting the song on my other site. I take comments and criticism with an open mind Ė taking it constructively. Thanks


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    dotsPipe dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pipe Dream
    by justin leverage a.k.a wakethedead

    Take the time to trust again
    They really messed up with your head my friend
    Let your hate mellow down
    Believed that everything conspired, against you

    Leave the past for what is here
    Among the stray you crawl in fear
    Beneath the pain you cast out
    For what its worth you took the chance

    Separate the scars from the wounds
    And heal yourself

    Youíve taken all the dream
    And hid behind a mountain scheme
    Youíll find a way to live
    Far from every harmís way

    Separate the scars from the wounds
    And heal your selfish pride

    Youíve taken all the dream
    And hid behind a mountain scheme
    Youíll find a way to live
    Far from every harmís way

    ÖYouíll manage to forgive




    Submitted on 2005-09-15 10:34:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      very good. i really liked the wording, although i think that the second line could be simplified and it would be smoother. i especially like the line:

    "Separate the scars from the wounds"

    the last line seems unnecessary, but with music added i can see it being a good ending.

    well done.
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by caster | [ Reply to This ]
      for the most part, this is very well written, my favorite lines are
    Take the time to trust again
    They really messed up with your head my friend
    Let your hate mellow down
    Believed that everything conspired, against you
    i know how it feels all too well, the title captured my attention and the lyrics kept it.. its so hard for me to trust anyone anymore and i dont erally know what to do yeah... my 'mtoher' f*<ked w/ my head alirhgt and i really do get angry at her

    good write
    peace
    danielle
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by sacred_tears | [ Reply to This ]


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