Poem! by Avril54

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Submission Name: Poem! dots

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Author:	Avril54
Elite Ratio:	3.44 - 163/206/34
Words:	174

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	436
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1222

Description:
this poem sucks. :P

Poem!

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We live in a world where things end too short,
Or ramble too long,
But a poem or rap, haiku or song,
Can be made sweet and short or fashionably long
And this poem right here,
I wrote it myself,
Not to be locked away, but displayed on a shelf.

Submitted on 2005-9-15 13:21:49
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THOUGHT THE POEM WAS OVER, DIDN'T YOU?
ok, now it's over.

Submitted on 2005-09-15 13:21:49 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I like non-sensical pieces and ones that show a range of sense & humor! It did make me smile too! Some people take things so seriously they lose the simple things like laughing or smiling daily!
Thanks for sharing!
Love,Peace,Joy~Feel,Experience,BE~~~
tif
| Posted on 2005-12-20 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  This could be cool and quite funny, you should give it some more thought and organise it into couplets and I think you could be onto a winner. Unless ofcourse you don't want to, then you should just ignore this.

;-)
V
| Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by Vastmark | [ Reply to This ]
  Yep, you said it in your description, and I will just leave it there.

your friend
ben

although I can't say much else, I need to fill some space to post this.
| Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
  answer to previous post::: i think it's funny myself some folks are just a dead stick they don't have much of a sense of humor... i do see humor with the element of surprise than bam! "you thought it was over." that is funny, very cute and playful. don’t take what folks say to heart. people here need a comedy enema! to much serious constipation! ok that was gross sorry. they need a comedy tetanus shot? hee hee ok that’s painful ow! how about a comedy salad? there! not gross or painful and five out of five super models will agree pleasantly fulfilling. comedy is like ugly, it's all in the eye of the beholder! what may be beauty to one, would be "my God i need to claw out my eyes" to another! one man's trash is another’s treasure so on and so forth. why is it one man's trash anyhow don't ladies make trash too? hmmm maybe that expression was coined by a lady. lots of different types of humor hit people differently like if I picture a bunny with a military sniper rifle (thanks to Jase (alteredlife) with his pink homicidal fluffy bunnies) my God that to me is funny! a hot looking gal in a car picking her nose is funny to some gross. president Bush just the way he looks my gosh it is funny! I get all kinds of comedy even dry humor from Monty Python and Tracey Ullman (spell checker at register nine!) so keep writing don’t let people step on your neck trying to tell you what is funny cause there will be always be an audience out there who will think it's funny. catch ya laterz and stay cool!

~mike

you thought it was over huh? ha ha see? that is priceless! no its not over! as sure as the sun rises in the east tis not over till the fat ugly homicidal bunny shoots the salad eating supermodel at register nine in a wal-mart!
ok now it's over.
| Posted on 2005-10-23 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Short and sweet, it fits the poem well, I don't know how long you could make it...shall we try?

NAW!

"But a poem or rap, haiku or song,
Can be made sweet and short or fashionably long"

My favorite part!

Not all poems are meant to be long and full of words that, well, a very small number actually are able to use properly in a sentence. Some are able to get right to the point and still be effective.

I really want to see more, though, I want to see what you can do, these small blerbs don't show the great potential I know you are hiding. I am not pressuring you, don't get me wrong, I just want to read more.

Keep it up, everyone likes a good comedic poem. If yuo ever want to check out some funny pieces go to www.elitskills.com/u/patricio, he has some funny poems.

And I am done,
Krazy
| Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
  It's clever... Um... that's all i really have to say about it, other than you should make the "Thought it was over etc" a bit further down the page.
| Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
  not that funny to me. I like the idea, but maybe this shouldn't be under comedy... :P dsffwretwer afagar dtwerwewtrev
LeAnna
| Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
  Very true. Sort of funny. I don't know why but it makes me smile.
I liked the first two lines best. Made me wonder where, if ever, you see a middle. Among other things.
I can't wait for more work by you!
| Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
  Looks like a journal entry to me..I think add more to this to bring out the flavour of the piece.

Looking forward to reading more of your work..
| Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]

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