Description: Yeah, this is a re-write of "Age Matters," some of you probably have read it. But basically, I did the same things again. I really do care about him, but I just don't have the power to do it. I don't know why. But Chris, I'm sorry. I really am.
To Be The Exception -------------------------------------------
We said that age didn't matter
Eight years wasn't that much time
Thought we saw something
That would connect us eternally
I was not who you thought I was
You saw only the carefully crafted exterior
One which was nearly impenetrable
I knew the genuine would show through
And destroy what we were
You were the eye of perfection
A virgin in every way
One that would become tainted
Infected with my impurity
Pushed you further than you wanted
Worked you over harder than I thought
Full of expectations that would never be met
The unthinkable happened
I began to feel
Through all of the emotional pain that I put you through
Felt something never felt before
Followed by fear
That I would destroy what was left
Of your original perfect shell
A repeat offender
Did what I always do
Ran away with my heart still protected
And left you behind
To deal with the aftermath
The one thing that I never
Gave myself the pportunity to say was...........
I can feel this poem through my life, at 18 I married a man six years older than me, I was guarded and depressed, we were married with two girls when we got divorced seven years later. Our daughters are now 15 and 13. I wouldnt change a thing that I did now, but if I had read this then, I may have said no to save him from me. I have been married twice since then, yet he is still just divorced from me. Very sad write. I see you have a space with msn, I do too, I am new to it and dont know how to get around with it yet really, how do I find your space? do I use the hotmail address? my space is mrswayne4, hope to see you there sometime!~~tracy
let it flow...this is a brilliant shard of sadness, enhanced by the freeverse. freeverse always seems to have that incredible quality of making the real even more relistic...keep it up:-) louise
This is a good and sincere write. Age difference is usually not a factor at first in younger people, but as you learn more about each other, it seems to present itself. The maturity levels are different. The experience levels are different. And eventually it comes between two people. It is not unusual to run away from something that scares you. It is unfortunate that it happens but I think it is a natural human response in some situations. Maybe it is kinda selfish too, but we are a selfish society. This is a nice read because you recognize and admit your faults and admit you are not perfect. You also apologize at the end which is good. Hurting someone really sucks but it is better than living in a situation that wont work for whatever reason. Good expression of your feelings. One thing I am not sure I grasp is why it is a longing poem. It seems more like an apology. Anyway, take care.
Hey good write, there was that one mistake at the end on oportunity you spelit it "pportunity" lol, umm the last two lines of the first stanza seemed a bit off in my opponion. But it did progressed alote. I agree with Lost Sheep, you showed and put forth alote of emotion through this poem, it was a verry stong and verry mature write, (not that i dont think that you arn't mature tho lol). Some work could be done on it but i think it was verry good. good job! Patrick/liam
There's incredible sadness here, on two levels. First, the pain that the speaker feels comes through strong. On a second, more important level, the reader (at least in my case) feels sorrow for the main character. It's NOT her fault, it's NOT any problem she has that began to show with time.
Submission Name: To Be The Exception
