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Vietnamese Baby Girl

Author: wallya20
ASL Info:    18/m/Bahamas
Elite Ratio:    8 - 113 /68 /26
Words: 283
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 880
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1640


Vietnamese Baby Girl

Your slanted eyes can’t help but stare into mine
You are diverse your Cantonese, Chinese, Japanese and Korean sub- culture is strong within itself
I am unfolding the mysteries of my Vietnamese baby girl
Your 4 years older than I am but I don’t care
You have a son and that changes nothing
Just sit back and watch as both our lives intertwine with each other
Hardships and pain you faced before,
Respect and love face you now
Hoping your ready for love, prepare your heart please,
All of me is given, tears fell before
Dry those eyes baby no more
Smiling now though I know you have been hurt on the outside and in
Family disagrees, yet you turn your back on them and face me
No need for a 6th sense to see if I love you
You believe everything
Eyes are said to be the windows to our souls
How come when I look into yours I see me?
Telling me your dreams of the horizon spying on us
The wind feels us; we now fall upon the rain
Years can go past but as long as my arms are around you we stay young forever
To believe and enjoy what we have
A true love that no one ever had
We made love in ever season sun or snow
Your night’s moon loves my day’s sun
You now realize your diversity doesn’t matter
Call me your nigger I ain’t disrespected that’s what I am
Diverse within myself it matters not what people say
We lay in the night’s rain when we want
Do not disturb is always on the door
I love my Vietnamese baby girl

Submitted on 2005-09-15 17:12:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This was an interesting one. Just a few things to point out though. I like how you had some good imagery in here. It was very nice. Though it looked like you couldn't decide if you wanted to rhyme in here or not. So I was just wondering on that. Some of your lines could probably be shortened too just a little so they aren't so long, With shorter lines it makes it easier to read and follow. For example you could put of the beginning...

"Your slanted eyes,
can’t help but stare into mine,
You are diverse,
your Cantonese,
Chinese, Japanese,
and Korean sub- culture is strong within itself,
I am unfolding the mysteries,
of my Vietnamese baby gir,l
Your 4 years older than I am,
but I don’t care,
You have a son and that changes nothing,
Just sit back,
and watch as both our lives intertwine,
with each other,"

but thats just a suggestion on how to do it. I personally think its easier that way. But anyways I did like this a lot. nice!

| Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]

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