[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tip of the Icebergdots

    Author: CleoCollier
    ASL Info:    40/F/South
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 83/84/26
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1257
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 387

       We all do it. all over the world. Men & women alter their consciousness, or look for some solace. Some take it too far; some get yanked to redemption.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTip of the Icebergdots

    Kava grogged fishermen
    Beetle nuts crimson chin
    Hemp seeds, Scythian
    bursting from the steam.

    Cannabis Hannibal
    Coca burning spent feet
    Beta waves drum beat
    dervish dreams neat.

    Horse bones tilled soil
    Furrows in the long sun
    Blood spilled breath stroke
    loser's life won.

    Submitted on 2005-09-16 08:49:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well, Felicia, I did okay until the last stanza. It's clear (at least to me) that you're talking about different psychotropic (psychedelic?) substances and experiences, i, the dervish's drums. But I don't understand horse bones tilled soil, etc. That one I don't get.

    It's very cryptic, so is kind of hard to critique, besides, what's there to criticize? You basically wrote a poetic list without passing judgment on the items listed. And my motto? Who needs drugs when you've got CHOCOLATE! mae
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]