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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: happy againdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: halopop
    ASL Info:    25/f/FL
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 167/141/21
    Words: 268
    Class/Type: Misc/Happy
    Total Views: 480
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1593



    Description:
       this is truly meant to be spoken out loud... i think i had a few rhythem hic-ups but hey... if it's written by me then you gotta expect that... ha ha! any ideas on how i could improve on this??


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshappy againdots
    -------------------------------------------


    unknown star from afar
    looking deep into my soul
    at all of the skeletons, thick cobwebs
    that I keep locked up tight
    you stole the key that I gave willingly
    you didn't throw it away
    you let me see another day
    with the sun on my face
    yet another chance to embrace
    the fact that my secrets are coming out...
    shield your eyes, look away,
    but yet you choose to stay
    here before me as I lay
    in the green grass of your eyes
    looking up into the skies above me,
    cover me
    in sweet tranquility
    and let me be

    happy...

    again...

    no longer a teen I'm in between
    tomorrow's past and the thought of yesterday,
    but today when I thought that I would ask
    if you wanted to stay
    for a while, let my secrets walk a mile
    inside your head
    and you tell me that my heart is not dead,
    instead she's just waiting
    all dressed up, anticipating
    the fall
    into vulnerability that we're all
    afraid of ..not, just of love
    but that ultimate surrender,
    the sacrifice that will render
    me helpless in the abyss
    called togetherness with someone who is ready
    to help keep my spirit steady on this wire
    trembling above the sea of fire
    where I used to be drenched in pure self-pity
    but now I am free to be me ...

    happy...

    again...






    Submitted on 2004-04-16 19:47:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well i'd say i'm not a big fan of "happy" poems, but only because i view them for the most part as generic "marshmallow foaming at the ears" kind of writing. this is far from that. it's like...surfacing from a pool you didn't know you were in, suddenly clear-minded...and the world has a lot more color when that happens.

    i liked the way you described falling into love, "the abyss/ called togetherness," how your heart's not dead, just anticipating, and "..keep my spirit steady on this wire" that one has a good mental image, as does the bit about the heart being a little girl dressed up..ayway that's the picture i got out of it. so anyways... i liked it.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      very beautiful poem,i enjoyed it
    very good flow ,vivid imaginations
    is it time for the drink ,or not yet
    | Posted on 2004-04-16 00:00:00 | by bilal anaim | [ Reply to This ]



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