Description: My garden in my back yard has been tended to this year, but not appreciated at all. We have not spent any time sitting outside and enjoying the tranquil beauty of our garden this summer at all... what a shame. It has been our 'hidden garden' this year. But next summer, we promised ourselves to spend most of our free time there, and to make up for lost time...this is my first attempt at writing my thoughts without using any rhyming scheme, I hope it is ok...
The Hidden Garden -------------------------------------------
Early morning dew sparkles
like forgotten diamonds,
upon each leaf of each flower
in the Hidden Garden.
Golden rays of newly born sunlight
break through the sky,
and kiss the faces
of the many red roses and golden pansies.
Whispering breezes
crawl gently over the tops
of the sleeping flowerbeds,
easily stirring their nodding heads
to arise to the bright sun.
And they stretch out their petals
in a great yawning effort to awaken,
Opening
to their full and glorious bloom in seconds.
Their beauty is unspeakable
and their scent permeates the morning air,
a shame nobody comes here
to witness this most astounding transformation.
No appreciation for Mother Nature
and her unique handiwork, which takes place, secretly
each day in the Hidden Garden
You have yet again manage to capture my heart with such fine words of a hidden garden. from the first word to the last I became deeply entranced in the picture you so beautifully painted. The way you describe this saddens my soul to think that such things are left unnoticed. Truly a fine piece and it shall be remembered in my wall of favorites. bravo
Hey, I have to say I like how you've stepped away from the confines of rhyme... you still have a nice meter-melody that runs through it, apart from a couple of longer lines that have their own time signature... but it all still fits, you know?
I would like to see more free-flow from you - it seems like you're freer to express what is truly on your mind without being fettered by restrictions. But then, I am biased towards free-flow, so really, take my observations with a pinch of salt.
I think you described this garden beautifully - I think I was almost in your garden with you. It actually reminds me of my friends' mother's established garden - it's overgrown and wild in some places... but so orderly and right in its tangledness - that perhaps that was her intention all along. Who knows.
But anyways, yea, I'm going to go figurative on you and say that I also think that this was an allusion to the Garden of Eden - that paradise that already resides within each of our hearts if we would but look.
But I am taking my own meaning from this... which is fine by you, right? That's what poetry is about to me... giving the other person their own view... letting them dig deeper, letting them think for themselves upon the layer/s beneath that are not said out loud but whispered in your head.
To me, there is a surface veneer of a poem. Then there is the psychological inference of symbolism that is only apparent subconsciously. That's how my mind operates, if you hadn't guess already Cher. And if you haven't, I'm telling you now so you know how I go about writing mine lol.
Why the hell did I digress so much? I just had to say I liked this... I like seeing you throwing off those chains and truly experimenting with something that is unknown and different to you.
Well done. A wonderful first effort I must say. Jase
Hi Cheryl, This is just a beautiful, yet "QUIET" piece. A serene place...a garden. A garden, your mind is at peace. A garden, you can go there and just calm down. A garden, a place you can go to collect memories. The golden pansies and red roses, all in bloom mode.
Your garden depicts nature at it's best. The way you describe and express it's just beautiful. I love gardens. Take care Cheryl, hugs to the "boys"...wanda
Wow this is such a meticulous write. It intricately captures timeless beauty that has been forgotten. Hey this piece made me think of how I had neglected myself at some point and the beauty that laid dormant in my soul for I had been searching for tangible wonder outside of my garden. I must say this write brought so much peace in my heart and its fascinating how much one can ignore the most significant things that we can build on to better ourselves. Also, wonderful things that are freely available to us.
Your use of imagery is so remarkable, you intricately craft a beautiful scene for us. What I appreciated in this piece is its high level of realism. Everything that was articulated was clearly visible to me. You painted marvellous scenes to the reader, that is a skill possed by a talented writer-YOU.
I have nothing , but positive comments about this piece...It has been so meticullously penned down. It has a very soothing element of calm to it- I APPRECIATED YOUR STYLE...There's so much harmony...It did'nt need to have a rhym...I know a great deal of effort went into the crafting of this piece. It would be unfair for me to select a verse and say it was my favourite so in all honesty I enjoyed the entire write...Well writen..Thank you for sharing..BE HAPPY..Nobantu
Submission Name: The Hidden Garden
