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    dots Submission Name: Phony Days and Broken Nightsdots

    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 788

    They are just stanzas,
    composed of words
    composed of letters,
    composed of lines

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    dotsPhony Days and Broken Nightsdots

    I was up all night, trying to write
    I tried with all my might, but I think I lost the fight...

    Still just a blank paper,
    Below a bleeding pen,
    In a twitching hand,
    Controlled by a restless mind

    For weeks on end the words won't come
    And I contine to come undone
    I see my carefully destructed demise
    Composed of so many effin lies

    And when even your voice can't make me rejoice
    I know I no longer I have a choice

    I need to do something to stop this ache
    To stop this hole from spreading and swallowing my whole

    Phony days and broken nights
    I don't even know why I write
    When all I can gain is more damn pain

    Submitted on 2005-09-17 12:47:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i hate it when i cant write but ive got sooooo much feeling inside that i have to but in the end it will suck because its forced. ill have days of free time to write and nothing will come out write so ill go to school and have piles of work and notes to write to annoying people who whine when i dont write back and teachers asking wheres my pink slip signed by my mommy and blah blah and ill have no paper at all and out of nowhere ill start singing in my head and have at least 4 song ideas out of nowhere. i loved your poem because i remember now im supposed to be talking about that lol.
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by namesdontmatter | [ Reply to This ]
      Baby I wish that I could make you happier. I like this because I can understand it. (the shrinks tell me mine is from PTSD, but whatever). well, I hope that insperation returns to you. I particularly liked the line Still "just a blank paper,
    Below a bleeding pen,
    In a twitching hand,
    Controlled by a restless mind"
    but that's my taste. I love you
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like your use of the language. I can relate to the image of such virulent writer's block. I can tell you that months have drawn close to a year on my worst case of writer's block. I guess that its because we want it too much. This piece made me think of my own battles with the pen, and who actually won in the end.
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by sistersinister | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you started it out, I could envision it. It's a bit depressing but i believe that it what you were trying to portray. I kind of got lost in the middle for you immediately started talking of another person, but torwards the end I quickly Understood the poem by the whole. The style was different, I'm not sure if I liek or if I'm just not used to it. But I like reading different style. Over all it was really good! nice job!

    p.s. LOVE your name!
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]

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