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    dots Submission Name: Our Prisondots

    Author: xeternalshadowx
    ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121/137/55
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1161
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 692

       crappy, but idc

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOur Prisondots

    Let the voiceless be heard,
    Let the voiceless be heard,
    Let the voiceless be heard...

    With silent screams of breached perfection,
    Following footsteps in the wake of wisdom
    Recur the fear of death inside.

    Under a blanket of sin
    Crawling up the stairway,
    The damned seek residence for all,
    While embraced by His eye
    On the road of freedom to all.

    Our hearts snow-blind to an inevitable truth,
    These walls of stone are tainted red with our own blood.

    A seed was thrown into the rain
    In the hope that one day our fruit will ripen
    For we can taste its nectar.

    Submitted on 2005-09-17 18:15:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like the alliteration in this piece. gives it a good flow. the beginning repeating lines made me think that it was a song, and after reading, i still think that it could be.

    "following footsteps in the wake of wisdom"

    that was def my favorite line, and not only for the alliteration, it just stood out a lot.

    i also like the "snow-blind" part. just for the wording. overall its a really good poem, kudos.
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]
      You're right it was a bit rough on the edges, but I still enjoyed it very much I suggest that you find a way of outletting your feelings through your writing because you seem to have a really good technique
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Aferisan | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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