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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Our Prison


Author: xeternalshadowx
ASL Info:    17/m/pennsylvania
Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 121 /137 /55
Words: 107
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1352
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 692



Description:

crappy, but idc


Our Prison


Let the voiceless be heard,
Let the voiceless be heard,
Let the voiceless be heard...

With silent screams of breached perfection,
Following footsteps in the wake of wisdom
Recur the fear of death inside.

Under a blanket of sin
Crawling up the stairway,
The damned seek residence for all,
While embraced by His eye
On the road of freedom to all.

Our hearts snow-blind to an inevitable truth,
These walls of stone are tainted red with our own blood.

A seed was thrown into the rain
In the hope that one day our fruit will ripen
For we can taste its nectar.




Submitted on 2005-09-17 18:15:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i like the alliteration in this piece. gives it a good flow. the beginning repeating lines made me think that it was a song, and after reading, i still think that it could be.

"following footsteps in the wake of wisdom"

that was def my favorite line, and not only for the alliteration, it just stood out a lot.

i also like the "snow-blind" part. just for the wording. overall its a really good poem, kudos.
*sandra*
| Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]
  You're right it was a bit rough on the edges, but I still enjoyed it very much I suggest that you find a way of outletting your feelings through your writing because you seem to have a really good technique
| Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Aferisan | [ Reply to This ]


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