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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Paint Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indelible_ink
    ASL Info:    20/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 143/109/25
    Words: 227
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1369
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1429



    Description:
       Meh, don't know if I like it. I spent hors trying to get it right. But Hopefully you guys understand this one. :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Paint Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Paint it on a portrait of an intricate design
    Capture the force of mankindís vivacity
    With each stroke whether broad or fine
    Paint with life, paint empathically

    For red use the blood that pumps dynamically
    Obtain it from smitten heroes who fight to the death
    Find the most zealous one, with a manic glee
    To prove their love, to save their very own princess

    For blue take the tears of a mournful soul
    Of the one who watched their cherished disappear
    Take it as the pain fills the eyes and overflows
    Take it from the purest, most heartfelt tears

    For yellow take from the warmth and shine
    Of the newest, the most infatuated hearts
    Where they glow with smiles of their own design
    Where they cannot bear to stand an inch apart

    Mix the colors with an affectionate eye
    Paint all the determination and pain
    Put with all your heart and all your life
    Shelter it from the sun and rain

    Paint until fervent passion radiates
    A surreal glow, a soothing warmth
    Paint till none have to concentrate
    To find what it is or itís worth

    When itís finished in its purest beauty
    Perhaps it can be place in a divine gallery
    So when one reaches the heavens and sees
    It right next to the first and true painting




    Submitted on 2005-09-17 20:16:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Using colors to portray emotions of people was original and truly amazing. Are you a painter? it seems like it because of the detail and crisp images you have created. i will for sure add this as a favorite. It was plainly beautiful. I love the way you took love and viewed it into an artistic, original way. These words by itself can create the painting you've drawn into phrases. There is just a mear suggestion I have. For the stanza's 2-4, the first phrases starts off as

    "For red...For blue...For yellow.."

    I didn't see anything wrong with that style but you could change it up a bit and write those ideas in different forms just to add different tastes to the colors in each stanza. It's just a thought. Lovely. Take care.

    -Lado
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      welll.. i guess you are a ppainter and aa writer so you are a good artist ... i love it . and it will be one of my favorites.. i love your ideas and the words you use to express your ideas...
    and the structure was great ... it was unique ... like all say ...
    i love this part :

    "Paint until fervent passion radiates
    A surreal glow, a soothing warmth
    Paint till none have to concentrate
    To find what it is or itís worth"

    keep on writing and ...
    why dont you check out my writings..
    good bye and take care!
    victor
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it. how you represented everything. it was amazing. there is really no advice i could give you so i guess you can call this a "bad" comment.
    -brandon
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Leon Kennedy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was extremely unique! I fell in love immediately with the ideas in this piece. The idea of painting with life, it's just so amazing how you put this together. It's so nice to read something like this, getting such a vivid image of what you're speaking of and the amount of passion conveyed through your words, the love of your art! This was very beautiful and extremely creative! GREAT job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-09-21 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was very original and I being a lover of anything creative I like how you use painting here & the colors of life and where they come from and what they stand for.
    Really colorful! I like positive pieces like this!
    Great job!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      What a wonderful metaphor!
    You do on the keyboard what you describe. This is well painted.

    Thanks for sharing it!
    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely unique, and an interesting view, to find the colours in people's traits and emotions.

    I really liked your ideas in here, I think you could probably improve the flowa little, but all in all, a really enjoyable poem.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a little tedious in the beginning, but after a while you are kind of drawn into it. the first stanza was just a little slow, but after you get into the colors it starts to flow. i really loved your ideas in this. i love how you define where each color is drawn from. this is probably one of the most original views of love ive read yet. all in all, good write.
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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