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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No More Can I Fight....dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raven_s Miser
    ASL Info:    16-female- wap
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 68/54/18
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 803



    Description:
       just some ramblings thats all hope ya like


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo More Can I Fight....dots
    -------------------------------------------



    I live and lose, you live and win
    My life's a joke, the ultimate sin
    I failed myself, I failed you too
    There's nothing left, but one thing to do

    Darkness is here, the light is gone
    My load is heavy, I'm not that strong
    The past was hell, the future's bleak
    I'm sick of fighting, I'm tired and weak

    The night will come, the sun will rise
    I'll pray no more, forgo the lies
    I'm trapped in life, in death I'm free
    Removed from earth, not meant to be

    Shadows are here, in me they live
    Greeting my death, with nothing to give
    A soul that's empty, black as night
    It's time to quit, No More Can I Fight




    Submitted on 2005-09-18 14:34:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sammm this is really good. I'm may not 100% understand what ur saying but I do like it its really good. And wellI don't see anything that would require you to fix it at all.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by ajjax1705 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey hey hey samm, Thats my style of write thank you...death is my gift not yours. You give life, not take it. And if you need help carrying your load turn to me because for you, here I'll always be. You know me and how often do I actually win? But this is an excellant write, seriously. Couldn't have written it any better. Maybe thats cause your a better writer...probably. Hahahaha I don't know but you know if you need me I'm here. I know you know my number by heart. lol But thats a differant story...we need to hang out more...hmmmm ohhhh yeah, if you get this by sometime soon...ohh wait nevermind I'll just tell you tomorrow. Anyways, this is awesome. I agree with the mae, find a place to use these feelings to help. What have I always told you? and no I don't mean about the monkeys.lol Things always get better Samm, its just a matter of how much worse they get before you let them get better. See you soon.
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by Restless_Heart | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with both mae and bigfineq, there no point in being depressed and suicidal, its a waste of time. ive been there, i still dont really care if i were to hurt the people around me but i have to look on the bright side, theres ALWAYS a bright side. all you ave to do is find and you can, it aint that hard, it just takes time...but i like your poem, it was well written and had a good flow, nice job, just try to be a bit more happy, ok? :)

    ~adalae
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by lifeNsoul1224 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Mae, and she told you LIKE IT IS...You are only 14yrs old. Life is just starting up the road for you. There will be ups and downs. What you experiencing is just everyday teen life. Place all your energy into writing. Think positive. SUICIDE is a copout. Now if you need someone to talk to...e-mail me or PM take care, Wanda
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, you got the sympathy you needed from your journal entry. Now I'm going to give you the flip side. There is no one more self-absorbed than someone who is depressed and there is NO more selfish act that suicide. I spent many years clinically depressed and was at the very edge and leaning over the abyss of suicide. All I ever thought about was how miserable I was and not once did I think how it would affect those I loved if I committed suicide.

    Things go wrong in life. People hurt us, they disappoint us, they let us down. Very rarely do they live up to our expectations. But there is nearly always someone in a worse situation than you. Turn your focus outward. See the suffering around you and put your energies into relieving that suffering. You will find a purpose and a distraction from your own unhappiness. You may even find happiness itself.

    As for your poem, I'm sorry, but it's one big cliché. The whole suicide genre is a cliché. If you had a different take on it, that would be different, but in this poem, it's just a big pity party. And, as I said, you got that on your journal entry. mae
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]


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