[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Your River Runs Deepdots

    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1353
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 864


    Written Sept. 10th, 2005

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour River Runs Deepdots

    I wade in your river,
    So Blue.......
    So Deep......
    Want me to jump in.
    Want me to swim.........
    Naked, in your water.
    Want to wash me clean.
    Don't bother.

    I wade in your river,
    So cold.....
    In the winter.
    So rocky in the middle.
    Want to surround me.
    Want to drown me......
    In your water.
    Want to wash me clean.
    Don't bother.

    I wade in your river.
    So dark.....
    So hard to see......
    The bottom...of you.
    Want to keep me here trapped....
    In your rapids.
    Want me to follow you....
    Down the mountain.
    Want me to stay here with you forever.......
    In your water.
    You want to wash me clean.
    Don't bother.

    Submitted on 2005-09-18 22:18:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well ok--titles for your song----------------------how bout I'm me so don't fuuuuck with me---na jk
    but "I'M ME" so DONT BOTHER or something like that or just I'm Me or just Dont Bother or is this song about getting cleanand not about a dude tryiong to change you?-I suppose that's what I nmeed to know 1st---if it is about a dude trying to change you then these are my titles and if it is about the latter then-"steps"
    and your welcome
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]

    i really enjoyed the descriptive picture you portrayed of the river and the mountains. I can actually picture the girl tempted to rinse herself with the water but afraid of the depth of the water thinking that something might happen for this river is still unknown to her. That's the picture i got and the symbolism you've created is wonderful her..

    There is something about the title and the piece itself that does disturb me. When i thought of the title, to me it was more like the length of that river- how further down it went. And when i read the piece, it became the depth of the river, how deep down it went. So in a way although i really enjoyed it, that was the thing i questioned myself throughout the entire time.

    I liked your repetition of don't bother for it's a mark that you've resisted the temptation no matter how badly you wanted to. That's the interpretation i got throughout the entire piece. Hope i am right or if not close.

    Anyhow, hope to see more stuff from you later down. I think the message behind this is powerful. This is the first poem for the day that i found worth reading. Thanks for sharing. Peace...

    | Posted on 2005-09-25 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      i THINK i FOLLOW YOU HERE ....................SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this person you and someone else say "him" and we'll call him Jim...Jim wants to share everything within and basically all...but at the same time Jim wants to was away the things that make you-YOU~which you can not as you said NO let him...our past is what makes us who we are and it makes us mature4-experiences wether good or bad or whatever are necesary for growth of any human being and this dude Jim should realize that we are what yesterday spits back and he should see that the same works for him as well...
    I mean hey who wouldn't want their new g-friend to be a virgin or vice versa but but we would love that all their ex's never existed but facts are that they do and they had a past together that can never be taken away-al the good /bad/and indifferent all of it makes up -all that stuff the good the bad etc..that we are today...is someone trying to change yo- like the person you are-dobn't wear thgat-but you always did even when ya met-I get it I just hope you get this...almost 3 weeks dry no sauce-I hate everything!
    | Posted on 2005-09-19 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      `"You want to wash me clean
    don't bother" is a dependcy question . If the water will wash you clean for your betterment,
    why resist?
    If the water will wash you of what another finds to be irritating,I say resist,since another is trying to conform you to what the other wants you to be. Friends do not try to take away one's individuality. A friend helps one to overcome that which is not you.
    | Posted on 2005-09-18 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]